Can't Make Up My Mind

I've been going back and forth since Friday, trying to decide whether or not to join the St. Vincent's Health facility. We toured it Friday afternoon, and the place is really impressive. But when I found out the price, and now that I'm certain that my DH is not going to join, I'm just not sure what to do. If he had joined, I wouldn't be feeling guilty about all the time it's going to take to drive there and back, plus the time I'm there, too.

I can justify the cost, if I choose to go, as just being another expensive medicine. If the doctor were to prescribe something that costs $65 a month, and he really thought it would make a positive impact on my Quality of Life, I'd pay for it, without hesitation. So, even though that is a lot of money, I can't decide not to join just based on cost.

Being dependent on DH to drive me there, wait on me, and then drive home, is very depressing. I'm sure I would join if I could drive myself there, but that's just not going to happen. It would mean driving on Highway 280, the most congested road in Alabama.

When I had said I was going to join, DH let it slip that he really wasn't enjoying going walking in the mornings. He's a night person, so getting up that early is not what he wants to do. He's been keeping that to himself, because he wanted me to get the exercise. I feel bad that I've been hauling him out of bed all this time, when he really didn't want to, but it's just like him to put my interests over his.

So now my dilemma is that I don't want to put him out again, by going so far from home to exercise. I think if it were just exercise equipment, I wouldn't have any trouble saying no. But there are Yoga and Pilates classes, plus Aquatic classes for Arthritis folks, a shallow therapy pool, a large jacuzzi, a sauna, and a steam room. Hmmmm.... those sound so soothing on aching muscles.

I can't count how many times I've changed my mind this weekend LOL!! This whole wishy washy episode has really brought home to me how very upset I am that I have to depend on somebody else to help me do things I used to be able to do by myself. I don't like it one bit!!