This is a Hard Post to Write

I saw my Neurologist yesterday, and it turns out I did have good reason to be apprehensive about the appointment.

First of all, he agreed that I did not have any business having the epidurals on my cervical vertebrae. So, I called my Orthopedist to let them know that they could schedule the Physical Therapy, but not the epidurals. They called back later, and have already faxed the prescription to the PT I used last time, which is close to home. So, hopefully, I will be getting some relief from the neck pain and stiffness soon. Holidays, of course, will be in the way of a regular schedule, so who knows when I will actually start the sessions. It could easily be the beginning of next year.

He also took me off of the Levadopa/Carbidopa plus Lodosyn meds that the ER doc had added to my treatment, since it didn't seem to be helping much at all. Taking too much of these meds can cause dyskinesia, which is involuntary movements. That may be why I had such an odd tremor develop of late, plus all the facial and tongue tics I have been experiencing.

But the news from the exam that has me so upset right now is that he is no longer sure I have Parkinson's. He watched me walk, and I was so nervous by then that he got to see me at my worst. Both legs bobbing up and down like I was trying to walk across the floor of one of those carnival blow up bounce machines, and having to hold out my arms to the sides to keep my balance. Turning around and coming back towards him was just as bad. He had me take off my socks and shoes, and he did all the usual hitting with the hammer. He scraped the bottom of each foot, and also suddenly pushed both feet straight up several times, in a slapping kind of motion.

I have had the foot scrape thing done many times before, and I know what that was testing me for - the Babinski effect. That's a test I failed some years ago when I was seeing a different Neurologist for migraine headaches. As far as I know I have not failed it since then. It has to do with the way your toes curl or straighten out when a hard object is scraped from the heel towards the toes. The normal reflex is to curl the toes inward. If the toes spread out, with the big toe stretching upward, it's a sign of a lower extremity nerve problem. I don't know if I passed it this time or not. He didn't say, and I was too upset to ask. I have tried to look up what the sudden slapping of my feet upward meant, as I have never had that done to me before, but I haven't been able to come up with the right search terms yet to find out what that was all about. He did move my arms around, while I kept them relaxed, and said he did not feel any cog wheeling. That's something he would expect to find if I had Parkinson's, and he has said in the past that he did feel it. It has something to do with the tremors, but that's about all I know about cog wheeling.

They have made an appointment for me with the Chair of the Neurology Department at the University of Alabama in Birmingham. He is the Movement Disorder Specialist in this area, and is supposed to be my best chance of finding out what is wrong with me. Parkinson's effects people in so many different ways, it may yet turn out to be the PD that my Neuro had initially diagnosed.

But for now, he has listed my diagnosis as the Peripheral Neuropathy plus Gait Debility. I'm back to that "not knowing" stage, and it is extremely upsetting for me, and for my dear sweet hubby. Of course, as you might expect with the chair of the department, I can't get an appointment until the end of April. That's going to be a long, long wait that is not going to be easy.

I felt such relief when my Neuro put a name to what was happening to me - even if it was that I had Parkinson's. Now I am in limbo again, and I hate it.

Hubby has asked that I stop reading and researching about Parkinson's for awhile, just to be sure that I have not been subconsciously absorbing the symptoms that I was reading about. That's a fair request, so I have said a temporary goodbye to my Parkie friends on PatientsLikeMe, and will not be doing any PD research for awhile. I am going to continue to try to find out more about Peripheral Neuropathy, though, because there is no doubt that I have that. Unlike Parkinson's, there are definitive tests for PN, which I most definitely have.

I don't know how to adequately explain how I am feeling about all this right now. It's almost as if I found out I was adopted, or something like that. It's like my identity has been ripped to shreds, if that makes sense. I have developed some really close friendships with some wonderful PWP over the last year. Now, with one sentence, my Neuro has put the nature of that relationship in limbo.

This NOT KNOWING stage I am in again is very hard to deal with. I am vacillating between being scared of something worse than Parkinson's, and being relieved that it could be something less progressive in nature than PD.

God is forever trying to teach me patience, and reliance on Him, rather than my own abilities. Looks like He is working on that big time right now. We haven't actually said anything out loud, but I think hubby and I are going to keep this turn of events to ourselves for now. I can't see any good reason to add this uncertainty to our children's lives. They have enough to worry about on their own. So, I will pour out my feelings here on my blog, since no one who knows me personally ever reads it.

Still Having Problems, But I'm Sleeping Longer!

I have managed to "stay in bed" for over 7 hours now 4 nights in a row. I wish I could say that means I was asleep the whole time, but that hasn't happened yet. It is still a considerable improvement, however. The last pill I take at night is the Bentyl, which is supposed to calm my colon and prevent the spasms that have been plaguing me for so long. It is an antidepressant, so I suspect that may be at least part of the reason I've been able to delay getting up as well as I have been. I continue to wear the TAP each night, so maybe it's a combination of both of them. Whatever it is, I'm thankful for it.

I've spent the last three days trying to overcome the stiffest neck I've ever had in my life. It started Wednesday evening, out of nowhere. I could feel the neck muscles all tensed up, and it was impossible for me to turn either way more than a couple of degrees. I tried the hot pad, plus took some Tylenol, and hoped I would sleep it off. I also did not wear the TAP that night, thinking that might make it worse. It was still extremely tight and painful all day Thursday, but I did go back to wearing the TAP. Nothing seemed to make it go away. It was considerably better by Friday, although I did take some Arthritis Strength Tylenol to get to sleep. Now, I am able to turn my head both ways maybe 45 degrees each way before the pain stops me.

I'm not really sure where this spasm came from. I did work out in the yard Wednesday more than I have been, and I could have over done it there. Or, it could be that I have turned the TAP screw past what my jaw can handle. Just in case it was the TAP, I backed up several turns on it to give my jaw muscles a rest.

I did get my flu shot this week, with no side effects at all. And I made sure the nurse put the information in my records about Celestone causing me to have such a horrible Parkinson's episode. I have not yet returned to the state I was in before the steroid shot, so I guess I won't be getting back to that point. It's been too long now. If I were going to recover completely, I would have by now.

I am still having those weird spaced out episodes after lunch mostly. I've tried eating meat, not eating meat, staying away from any protein, eating normally, eating things I'm not supposed to eat, like pizza, and eating very carefully selected IBS foods. Nothing seems to be an obvious trigger, so I'm left to think it is the medicine itself doing it. That would be the noon dose of Levadopa/Carbidopa (Sinemet). I'm not sure why I have more trouble with the noon dose, as I take this med with all three meals. It remains a puzzle.

I've been working hard on several computer projects lately, so I'm behind on listing items on eBay. I have got to get that done today, though, as we are being squished by all the bags of plush toys packed into our two spare bedrooms. LOL We buy them faster than I can sell them!!

So, I guess it's time to quit blogging, and start taking some photos!!

Drug Interaction Still Causing Problems

I went to the Gastroenterologist Wednesday afternoon, and he did X-rays of my abdomen to determine if I was as constipated as he thought I would be, based on my symptoms. He was surprised to find that nothing in my colon was hard or compacted. After examining me, he has come to the conclusion that my problem is caused by spasms of the digestive tract, rather than weak muscles, as he had been telling me it was. So, now he thinks my trouble is exactly the opposite of what he had thought previously!! He prescribed Triavil, which relaxes the colon muscles, and he said I should feel much better by Monday.

I've learned my lesson though, so I specifically asked him if he was sure I could take this med with my Parkinson's meds. He said he did not think this would be a problem, but to ask my pharmacist. Full of hope that he had found a way to stop my very uncomfortable situation, I called our drugstore on the way home to be sure he had it in stock. But, when hubby came back from the drugstore, he didn't bring in the prescription bag. He said the pharmacist said his computer all but crashed when he put in the medicine, it produced such a strong warning that this was a dangerous combination with my other PD meds!!

At first I handled the news stoically, but later on that evening I went through a rough time of being very depressed, with lots of crying. I called my doctor's nurse first thing Thursday morning to let her know I couldn't take it, and to remind her that he would see Selegiline listed in the interaction information, rather than Zelepar, which is just a dissolving form of Selegiline. I think that must be why he didn't realize I couldn't take it.

Anyhow, I haven't heard back from him yet, so DH and I decided it was time to take matters in our own hands. We went enzyme, herb, and spice shopping, as I have been doing some research on my own about Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), and I found some things that should help, without causing problems.

Yesterday, I started taking Turmeric, St. John's Wort, and Acidophilus capsules. DH's Oncologist has had him on Turmeric ever since he had colon cancer, and his doctor had already suggested I use it. We had our usual Date Day today, and I continued to belch a lot all day, but did not have any nausea at all, or my usual sensation as if my food was sitting at the top of my throat all day. I'm encouraged that I will find a way to calm my system down and get things back to closer to normal, whether my Gastro can find a medicine I can take or not.

I'm still very wobbly, though, so I used the cane just about everywhere we went today, and I'm using it in the house tonight, too. It may be that it's just going to take awhile to recover from the really bad state I was in Sunday, plus I may still have some of the Cortisol in my system. I'll have to see if I can find something about how long it stays in the system after getting an injection. Or, it may be that the St. John's Wort, added to my other PD meds, is giving me an overdose of Levadopa.

That's what makes figuring this all out so difficult, as too much PD meds makes for jerky movements, called Dyskinesia. If you've seen Michael J. Fox jerking around, you've seen it. When PWP have been on meds for a long time their systems process the Levadopa in a very unpredictable way, and you see these wild jerking movements. But early on, if the meds aren't strong enough, you see tremors. It's hard for me to tell if my wobbliness is tremor or jerking, so I can't tell, based on that, if I'm getting too little or too much Levadopa. My hands are only shaking ever so slightly, which makes me think I'm not getting too much. My Neuro will know when he sees me.

By then I should have heard from my Gastro doctor, and I'll know if the herbs are going to do any good or cause any problems. I will be doing more research, too, to be sure there are no contraindications of these OTC with my prescriptions.