My Uplifting Valentine's Presents

This last week has really been a strange one, on several counts. I wouldn't normally go this long without a post, but I tried to get a little too fancy with my Drive Partitioning software, and couldn't get the computer to boot at all! It took me several days to figure out how to fix it, and several more to get everything back the way it belonged. Luckily, I'm good about backing up my data, so I didn't lose any of that.

In between working on the computer, DH and I have had quite a time with Daddy. He's been getting more and more wobbly, and less and less able to follow our transfer directions. So, we've had several episodes of it taking every bit of strength the two of us had to get him from one place to another. The last straw was Monday or Tuesday (I've lost track HA!) when we had the usual bowel problem. Thank goodness I had decided to move the commode into the bedroom, instead of trying to take him in the bathroom. By the time that ordeal was finished, he just about finished all three of us before we got him cleaned up and back in his wheelchair. The Hospice nurse came not long after that, and she could tell how exhausted we all were. This time, when I asked for lifting help, she agreed that it was time.

So, what did I get for Valentine's Day???? A brand spanking new Hoyer Lift!!! Frances, our paid care giver, DH, and I learned how to use it this morning, and we were able to move Daddy from the bed all the way into the living room to his recliner, without any trouble at all. He's more comfortable, and we're MUCH happier. And our backs and nerves appreciate it, too!!

I've been pleased with how well the Zelepar has been helping me deal with all this physical and emotional strain. I did have a bout of hysterical crying this weekend, though, because Daddy's foot looked worse to me, and I felt so guilty that I had let it get that way. My head knew I'd done my best, but my emotions sure didn't. The Podiatrist was here today, and he's very pleased with how it's progressing, so that's a big relief. Hey, that's another Valentine's Day present for me!!

And, today, for the first time in years, the pressure sore on Daddy's bottom is all but healed! Present number THREE!!

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in quite some time, I really think we're going to be able to keep Daddy out of a Nursing Home. The lift, the gel seat cushion, our Estate Sale sheepskin finds, and the rippling mattress have made all the difference in the world in Daddy's quality of life. I thank God for his tender mercies.

For the Want of a Nail .....

It's pitiful the domino effect one small problem can have on the well being of an elderly person.

From the start of putting Daddy in the hospital bed, he has been very touchy on his left heel when I'm getting him dressed in the mornings. I had already, some time ago, asked for help keeping his heels in good condition, as I had noticed some splotchy areas there. The nurse said she would order booties. When they didn't bring them, I asked the next nurse I saw about them, and she said she would take care of it. Well, the booties didn't come, and yesterday morning Daddy had a water blister on the bottom of that left heel that is huge.

Even though it was Saturday, I called the after hours Hospice number, telling them about his heel. The nurse had a call to make in the opposite direction from us, but she said she would see him sometime that day. Sure enough, she did come about lunchtime.

When she measured the blister, it was 2" by 3"!! His whole heel has broken down!! No wonder it was hurting. She used an ointment on it, padded it with gauze, wrapped his foot in Coban, and reminded me to hang his heels off a pillow and not let them touch anything. She said I did the right thing calling, and she thought it had been caught soon enough that it would heal quickly. Of course, Daddy is diabetic, so quickly is a relative term.

I'm just sick about that heel. I've been going to his house to fix breakfast and put on his shoes and socks for years now. I always checked his feet and made sure I smoothed out any wrinkles in his socks, before putting on his shoes. Now, too many people are dressing him, and I have no idea how the blister got started.

So, for want of a nail, the battle was lost. Hopefully, our battle is not lost, but it certainly has been put in jeopardy! Because of the huge bandage on his foot, he can't wear his shoes. Because he can't wear shoes, he's not as sure footed when he tries to stand up. Because he's having trouble standing or walking, he had to stay in the wheelchair almost all day long. Because he's in the wheelchair and not walking to the bathroom, he's not getting any exercise, so his legs are even weaker. Because he's sitting almost constantly, with his legs up, the pressure on his bottom is greater, so the sores on his bottom are getting worse!

The nurse was obviously concerned that I had not gotten the booties when I asked for them. She said she would see to it that the medical supply company brought out the seat cushion, booties, and an air mattress as soon as possible. We'll see.

This is exactly why I don't want to put him in a nursing home. If his skin has broken down here, with me asking several times for the equipment that would have prevented it, how much longer would they have waited to deal with his skin, with no one around to remind them??

We spent the day yesterday trying to keep him as comfortable as we could, what with his bottom sore and his foot sore.

This was not the Hospice we had used with Mama and Pop, but the one the doctor's office made arrangements with. I'm seriously considering switching Hospices. That means returning all the equipment and getting another set from the Hospice we liked, but at this rate, it will be worth it!! It all depends on how long it takes them to get this equipment to us this week. If it's delayed, they're fired, no matter how much of a hassle it is!!

Can I Keep Daddy in His Own Home Any Longer?

It looks like it's time to consider a Nursing Home for Daddy, something I never wanted, and he certainly won't want.

The last couple of weeks have been busy ones, as far as taking care of my Daddy is concerned. He woke up two weeks ago with his right arm in such pain and so stiff that he's been having to eat breakfast left handed. He can't even get the spoon to his mouth with his right hand. The Hospice nurse came and checked him out, but she couldn't find anything in particular going on. She did get a prescription for Ibuprofen, so I've been alternating every four hours with the Motrin and Extra Strength Tylenol. By lunch time his arm has been better, but it starts all over the next day, just as bad as the day before.

With his arm like that, he's having more difficulty getting out of his chair and the bed. Eating has been very frustrating for him, and he's having more trouble using the walker. I've been trying to help him get up and down, to give his arm a chance to heal, whatever has been wrong with it.

Day before yesterday, the nurse looked at it again and was concerned about a good bit of fluid build up around the elbow and upper arm. I knew his hand was swollen, but I hadn't realized the upper arm was larger, too. Anyway, she made an appointment for us to see his GP, Dr. M., in case it was a hairline fracture from the original fall, or something like that.

I didn't realize until yesterday just how much worse Daddy is than he was when he first fell. Trying to move him from the chair to the wheelchair, and then from the wheelchair to the car, was just about impossible. I wore myself out trying to do it. Luckily, Frances, our sitter, was there to help move him into the car, and she was panting by the time he was in. It's so much different than when we took care of Mama and Pop. They were both small people, not weighing more than 100 pounds, and they both cooperated. Daddy is about 160 pounds, and he's a dead weight. To make matters worse, he doesn't trust anybody, so he kept grabbing hold of the car door for dear life, and we had to peel his hands free to get him to hold onto us to maneuver him.

We asked for help at the doctor's office, getting him out and back in, so at least we didn't have to struggle with him there. But then, of course, we had to get him out of the car and back in the wheelchair on our own when we got home. He wasn't any easier to move then than he had been at first.

The whole ordeal was extremely upsetting. The worst part of it was that the doctor no longer has an X-ray machine, so it was more or less a wasted trip. We have to see an Orthopedist next week. That means going through all this again. I did mention to Dr. M. that I had a sore throat, so the nurse swabbed it, and I have strep. So now I'm on antibiotics. At least we accomplished that!

Yesterday's events have forced me to reconsider just how much longer we are going to be able to keep Daddy in his home. I can see that he's fast reaching a point where I won't be strong enough to take care of him. My DH and my Daddy have always had, shall we say, a cool relationship with each other. So DH gets frustrated with him, and Daddy stays mad at DH. My hubby is here for me, and doing a great amount of the work, but he's just not up to the cheek to cheek "dance" it takes to move someone who's not able (or willing) to help. And I've had a lot more practice at it, too. It is a skilled maneuver, but with Daddy, I'm just not strong enough to do it well.

So, I started thinking about Assisted Living homes vs Nursing Homes last night. I really don't think an Assisted Living place would take Daddy, but he's so mentally alert most of the time I hate the idea of a Nursing Home. I don't think I'm going to have a choice, though. We had visited just about every good Nursing Home in this area when we were caring for my mother and father-in-law, so I have a pretty good idea which ones to check for vacancies.

We have an appointment Tuesday with the Orthopedist, and his diagnosis of what's wrong with Daddy's arm will have a lot to do with where we go from there. If he puts Daddy's arm in a sling, we're in a mess. So, we'll get through the next few days as best we can, and go from there.

All this has been happening while I was supposed to be giving the Zelepar a fair trial. Considering how yucky my throat has been the last couple of weeks, and how much more work has been involved in taking care of Daddy, plus the extra stress of seeing him deteriorate, the Zelepar really hasn't gotten a fair trial. I'm not walking as well as I did with the Requip, but my stomach is definitely better. From recent reading I've done, I understand that this is the maximum dose of Zelepar, so that's not likely to improve, unless it's because of the increased stress, or because I had strep, and that effected my walking.

So at the moment, my thoughts are up in the air, with lots of questions, but no clear way to answer them right now.