Weaning Off Clonazepam = Thinking More Positively

I'm down to a half tablet at night now, starting today. I will stay on that for three days, and then I will be through with it. I sense the depression passing somewhat, but certainly not all of it. I was depressed before they put me on it, just not as much.

I've been trying to work off as much of my tension and fears in the yard the last few days. I've spread the rich composted "dirt" and planted Centipede seed there. I don't know if any of it will grow, but the weeds are sure enjoying the rich dirt. I can't very well pull the weeds, as the grass is still germinating. The idea is to let the growing grass choke out the weeds on its own. Since that section of the yard is pretty much finished, I've moved to a small section of grass at the front of the house. I'm wetting it down at night and then working on digging all the grass weeds out of it the next day. The hoeing is very therapeutic. It's kind of like a punching bag for me.

My biggest problem right now is that I can't get out in the yard without setting off a poison ivy outbreak, no matter how hard I try to stay away from it and bathe as soon as I come in. I've been super itchy now for some time, because I don't want to take any antihistamines on top of the Clonazepam.

I've been trying to read about Tardive Dyskinesia, which certainly seems to fit what I look like these days. I can't even spell it right half the time, but Google very nicely suggests how to spell it for me. If that's it, then I can add TD to my list of acronyms.

My mouth is definitely jerking and twisting more as the Clonazepam dosage is reduced in my system, but they have told me that there are other prescriptions they will try to reduce the tics and jerks, once I'm off this med. And I've started chewing sugarless gum a lot, too, as that keeps my mouth busy. I chewed so long last night I made my jaw hurt, but at least I didn't have my mouth pulling to the side and twisting all around. I will definitely be using this trick in public, as I am extremely self conscious about the way my face looks now.

Our wonderful pharmacist has printed out all the prescriptions I have been on since he opened his store some years ago. I haven't yet tried to track down where my records would be stored from the previous drugstore, but he suggested I try the CVS in a nearby town. We went without a drugstore at all for quite awhile there, as the previous pharmacist gave up his store to work for CVS. I haven't called yet, because it is likely a waste of time. But I will call. I'll just have to be in the mood to do it.

I've tried researching every medicine that I can remember ever being on, and a few are possible causes. But there's nothing to be done, other than try to deal with the symptoms. Tardive means it's a delayed reaction, so there is no med to "stop taking" to make the movements go away. Our family has always joked that an aspirin will put me to sleep, so I suppose it's not surprising that I would be one who had a delayed side effect to some medicine I've taken in the past.

I haven't been going to the Parkinson's forum. I just don't know what to say there any more. I guess I would still qualify for membership, since I'm dealing with a Movement Disorder of some kind, but I just don't feel like I fit right now.

Hubby has been a big help, and isn't mad at me any more about my reaction to the doctor's news. He's such a sweetie, and I know all this has been really hard on his emotions, too. I don't know what I would do without him.

I ran across a copy of Michael J. Fox's book, Lucky Man, at a yard sale not long ago, and I finished reading it last night. There were several things in it that made me feel better about myself. He talked about all the things he did to make his early tremors stop - how he tricked his brain - so he could hide it from the television and movie audience. That process of being able to temporarily stop a tremor with little mind and body tricks is one reason I thought I was suffering from a psychosomatic illness. I did not realize that at least some people with PD can consciously stop tremors momentarily. I have feared from the very beginning that being able to stop them for a brief while meant mine were not "real."

So, as it stands now, I don't have Peripheral Neuropathy, and there's no way of knowing if I ever did or not. I'm inclined to think I did, but all the super nutritious foods we have been eating for the last two years, plus the Turmeric and all the vitamins and minerals I take, just healed the nerve pathways.

Parkinson's is likely not the problem, although I have not ruled it out completely, as the doctor's always hedge what they say about that. I do have a Movement Disorder of some kind, and I am getting past the point of blaming it on myself. That's a good thing!!

Reading Fox's book helped me, so I hope that reading this blog can help someone, too.

Can't Take Meds I Used to Take

I've been working out in the yard a good bit lately, as part of my exercise. I've made some headway with our yard, but I've also come in contact with poison ivy somewhere along the way. I am extremely allergic to it, so I'm broken out over a large part of my upper torso, front and back, on my neck and face, and even in my hair. I have no idea how that happened. We have new cats outside, too, and I may have picked it up cuddling them.

So, I pulled out my trusty Benadryl, in addition to the topical anti-itch meds I always have on hand. Benadryl makes me sleepy, so during the day I've always used something like non-drowsy formula Sudafed. When DH went to the store he couldn't find the exact same Sudafed I was about out of, so he took what appeared to be a similar medicine to the Pharmacist to make sure it was OK for me to take it. He made sure he told her I had Parkinson's, and she said it would be fine.

I hadn't even thought about checking for PD drug interactions, so I'm glad hubby did. Particularly since I did take one dose of the 12 hour Sudafed with Pseudophedrine Hydrochloride in it this morning, and I've felt yucky all day long today. When I looked on the new box to see how many to take, despite the fact that DH had asked the pharmacist if it was OK, there in fine print, among the list of conditions that made using it unsafe, was - you guessed it -- Parkinson's. The same warning was on my old box of meds, too, and I hadn't even thought to look. That's BAD.

So, I called our local Pharmacist to double check, and sure enough, I can't take it. DH has gone there now to get Chlorotrimiton, which has nothing but an antihistamine. It doesn't have any decongestant in it. My Zelepar is in the MAO class of drugs, so I have to pay attention to things like that.

As careful as I am to check on drug interactions with prescriptions, it never occurred to me to check out these over the counter meds, as I've taken this combination for poison ivy for years. BAD GIRL, BAD GIRL!!

I've hopefully learned my lesson, though, and will not let old habits take over again. Cause the old gray mare ain't what she used to be!!