GREAT NEWS!!! - My New Diagnosis Is ESSENTIAL MYOCLONUS!!

I finally got to talk to a nurse on Dr. Watt's staff today, and I now have an official diagnosis that I can take to insurance companies. I do not have Parkinson's, nor anything in the Parkinson's Family. I have what is called Essential Myoclonus. It is not a progressive disease, which is the best news of all.

They do not know what causes it, but the Primidone is doing a remarkable job of controlling my movements. So I look forward to continued improvement and taking my life back! I asked if it would be OK to add an extra half tablet in the mornings, because the dose wears off in the afternoons, particularly if I am more physically active or stressed. She gave me the usual precautions about not using it if I became overly drowsy, be careful about driving, etc., but they are leaving the timing and use of the half tablet up to me. I am to start it in the mornings and then move closer to lunch if I want to try it there after a week or so.

I have been telling everyone about how wonderful I have been feeling since I went on the Primidone and how truly blessed by God I feel. I have strong emotional ties to lots of online Parkie friends, and I would only wish that they could have such good news from their doctors very soon. I guess I'm going to have to add another section for research about Myoclonus to my sidebar now, and come up with a better name for this blog. I have been very active in the Parkinson's PatientLikeMe forum, but I imagine I will be spending more time in the Essential Myoclonus section of WeMove.com now.

I lived in their world for almost three years, so I have a perspective into what it is like to have Parkinson's that most people can never have, unless they actually have the disease or are very close to someone with it. That is a valuable perspective that I do not want to squander. I'm not sure how God can use me in regards to this, but I'm sure in His good time it will become apparent.

I have tried to chronicle my journey from the very first days of the initial diagnosis of Parkinson's, through all the struggles I had with my digestive system fighting against the PD meds, to modifying my lifestyle to keep me safe, to the onset of tremors that soon turned into horrible shaking. I've tried to present an accurate picture of what was happening to me emotionally, as well as physically.

I am proud of this blog and hope that it will continue to be helpful to those who read it. May God use me and this blog to good purpose.

No Mouth Twitch So Far Today

I moved the Primidone dose last night to eight instead of seven, in an effort to maximize the amount I would have in my bloodstream during the day. It pretty much wore off by about 6:00 last night, so that's not bad at all.

I plan to take it tonight at 9:00PM. I took the morning dose at 7:00AM and have not had any mouth twitching so far. My gait is slow but steady, my hand and foot are not shaking, and my shoulder is not jerking.

I have emailed two members of PatientsLikeMe who are also on Primidone to get their experience with it, but I have not had time this morning to do any other research about this medicine.

I've been busy with our Lost Toy Search Service and our own toy catalog, and I am trying hard to make myself get off the computer in the evenings. I've been watching TV and using the computer at the same time for so long it seems strange to just watch the show. I am finding the long strings of commercials particularly irritating, though, as that's when I normally get something done on the computer. LOL!

I cannot express how wonderful the last few days have been, and I am so thankful to God for providing doctors and researchers with the skills and experience to find something that is helping me.

I filled out a new PDRS, which allows me to rank my current condition on a list of various Parkinson's symptoms. Up until this newest score, I was ranging around 25. The highest score of 32 was in January of 2006, when I was finally diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease, and when I could barely walk at all, even with a walker. My score now is SEVEN!!! I'm sure I ranked some of the answers on the optimistic side when I scored it, but I am feeling so great ... who cares!!!

Misery Loves Doesn't Love Company

I am so counting the days until my appointment next week! The depression level I am feeling is so pervasive that I am not fit to be around right now. Hubby is doing what he can to leave me alone and not trigger another crying spell. Or worse, make me mad. We had an actual verbal fight last week, which is most unusual for us.

I knew when I worked in the basement while he was gone that he would be livid when he found out, but I did it anyway. I just needed to be "normal" for a little while so badly that I didn't care that it would cause a fight. He won't let me go down in the basement, because he is afraid I will fall. We do have a horrible mess down there, that needs cleaning out terribly, and I am much more impatient about it than he is.

I hate depending on someone else to get something done that I should be able to do myself. I hate being sick. I hate shaking. I hate being off balance. I hate being seen in public jerking all over the place. I hate using the cane and looking like each step is going to be my last. I hate looking old. I hate not being able to do any work in the yard long enough to accomplish anything.

But most of all I hate this horrible feeling that they are not going to find anything physically wrong with me, and that I am going to end up on some psychiatrist's couch or on mind altering drugs. This Clonazepam is bad enough. I looked up the side effects, and depression and loss of balance are right there in black and white. I'm taking a med to stop some of the very things it will give me - doesn't make much sense does it. I still have the strong mouth tics when I am the least bit upset, and my face is definitely beginning to contort, with right eyebrow high, left eyelid drooping over the eye, and mouth pulled to the left. It looks like I have had a stroke, and can't control the left side of my face, but it's actually quite the opposite, the muscles on the left pull it that way.

I did finally recuperate from the left leg weakness and pain left over from the EEG test, but my nerves have yet to settle back down from the super loud MRI last week. I'm crying at almost everything right now, and can't stand noise at all. The loud TV commercials are bothering me so badly that hubby has started hitting the mute button when they come on. Last Sunday, for some strange reason, the young fellow who runs our sanctuary sound system had some of "his" kind of religious music piping in the auditorium before church. As far as I know that has never happened before. People were talking louder than usual to be heard over the extra noise. I sat there for a few minutes, and then told hubby we had to leave. I just couldn't take it. So, we were some of the first folks at our favorite Chinese restaurant last Sunday. I went to church that night, and it was fine. But that morning was horrible.

I am not sleeping as well as I was, either. Some nights have been good, but there have been a few of the kind I used to have, where I am up at 3 or 4 in the morning. I am not using the TAP, as I just don't think I can deal with it right now. Somehow I just have to make it through until next Wednesday.

I've completely rearranged one of the bedrooms we keep part of our plush lovies stock in, and I have worked some in the yard, trying to get the area ready to plant grass where I worked on the lasagna compost all winter long. I'm trying very hard to stay busy and focused on something besides me, but it ain't workin'!!

Wow! That was quite a rant, even for me!! But it felt good to put it down on paper and acknowledge it. It's real, and I'm not exaggerating. Hopefully, I will be able to look back on this post soon and be thankful it is all over. I always cling to hope, even in my darkest despairing times. God is good. AMEN!

Less Computer Time = Getting other things done!

Well, I have pretty much stuck to my intention to stay away from places where PWP are describing their symptoms. I have visited the PLM site a few times, and even made a few comments, but I have been cautious about the type of posts I opened, to avoid reading about anything tremor related. I have not done any research on PD, either, other than to try to find a correlation between heavy steroid use with Parkinson's. This was not for my benefit, but for one of my readers, who asked some interesting questions.

My neck continues to be very stiff and painful, but I can put up with it, knowing I will be getting help next week when I start Physical Therapy.

I am pretty much caught up with posting requests for help on the Plush Memories Lost Toys Search Service, and we are over the Christmas rush on eBay. I still need to put a new post on our Yesterday's Memories blog, and there is always work to do on the BLOG VILLAGE TopList that I run.

So, I have been getting some much needed house clutter cleaning done, but there is plenty more that needs to be done. I would like to have the house straight for the New Year. At least it can start that way LOL.

We did have a great Christmas, seeing all of our family all at once, and enjoying being with our grandchildren. It looks like we actually managed to buy them some things they will enjoy, and that's not easy to do when they hit those preteen and teen years. They all have birthdays right after Christmas, so we will be seeing them again real soon, too.

Hubby gave me a blender for Christmas, so now I can learn how to make Raw Foods Smoothies, something I have been wanting to try for some time now. Jackie, from The Vegan Diet, clued me into The Raw Food Coach, and since we eat a lot of raw foods, anyway, I have been learning as much as I can about what foods are the best for me. I have been doing a lot of research on the high anti-oxidant Super Foods, and we are gradually changing our diet to include lots of them daily.

We have had a lot of fun at our house of late with trying to get our very spoiled (neurotic) inside cat to accept our two outside cats as occasional inside visitors. They are too young to leave outside all night when it is freezing, so we bought a pet cage for them. They don't mind being in it at all, which surprised us, but it sure makes going out of town easier. We keep our inside cat in the hall bathroom when we are gone, and now we can keep the outside cats protected, too. Our only problem is that Miss Queen Fluffy doesn't like having them inside. There have been quite a few fights between Fluffy and Mr. Salt. Miss Pepper stays out of the rough stuff, as she has some kind of nerve damage to one of her hind legs. She is the main reason we decided to bring them in on cold nights and when we are out of town. Fluffy surprised us last night and behaved the whole time they were in the house. Maybe she's finally adjusting to them, I hope.

One of my anonymous readers has given me a clue as to what my diagnosis might be, if it's not Parkinson's. So, I have started doing some research on Dystonia. Also, there was a new post today on PLM discussing Ataxia, and that sounds familiar, too. I already feel better, knowing that there are other conditions that my symptoms seem to fit. It makes me feel less like this is all going to turn out to be psychosomatic. I can't bear the thought that my body has been going through all this due to an emotional problem. With other possibilities in sight, I am in a much better frame of mind than I was yesterday, thank goodness. So, Marion, the glass is looking more and more like it's half full, again.

As always, I appreciate your prayers and concern, and love to hear from you, even if it's just to say HI!

Life Goes ON

My Physical Therapy office called yesterday, and the appointment is set for Jan.2, so that's taken care of. I have been scouring the Internet, looking for some indication of the meaning of some of the neurological tests my Neuro did on me in his office the other day, but still not having any luck. I think I will end up calling his nurse, and see if she can help me understand what happened. We were both just in shock, I think, in his office, and I didn't ask enough questions. Now I could kick myself for not asking dozens!!

Also, I am wondering if I should try to wean myself off of the meds he left me on, before I see the MDS in April. And I also need to ask if there are any tests that my Neuro should be scheduling before then, too. When I first went to Dr. S, he was less than pleased to see that the Peripheral Neuropathy tests I had already had were only on my legs. They did not test my arms. So it would seem logical to me to have that workup done again, but more thoroughly, sometime close to my appointment in April. Otherwise, I can just see it now. I'll go in and talk to this fellow, walk, and get poked and prodded, and then he will order a bunch of tests, and I won't see him again for another 4 months. This NOT KNOWING could last the better part of a year, if that's the way it plays out.

I have been blessed with so many wonderful net friends showing their support and concern over all these mixed up feelings I am having. It's humbling to know that all of you are out there, praying for me. With all that love coming my way, and God's help, I am already beginning to ease out of the horrible funk this news put me in. I can choose to believe I have something worse than PD, or not. I choose NOT, doggonit!!

So, another Friday has rolled around. It feels a little different, with this uncertainty surrounding us, but we will find something enjoyable to do today, and life will go on. Our Christmas stocking gift hunt is finally ended, and it's time to wrap the presents for the grandkids, and our children, too. I haven't looked yet to see if there are any Estate Sales today, but I kind of doubt it. Who knows, we might go see another movie.

We enjoyed "Perfect Holiday" last week, as a light, entertaining, feel good movie, regardless of what the critics had to say about it. And we'll probably end up seeing "Legion" today, even though the critics have panned it, too. Not every movie has to be Academy Award quality to be enjoyed, right? Although I am a little surprised that Will Smith allowed himself to be in a movie that was less than box office hit quality. From what I've read, it's the Zombies that are so poorly done, not his performance. And there are some flaws with the premise of the story, too, which is what makes Science Fiction work as a genre. Once you have decided to "believe" in a certain situation, the rest of the story must stay true to that premise. From what the critics say, this one does not, and that's a pity. But, flaws and all, I am sure I will enjoy it, as I really like his acting, and I am a Science Fiction buff from way back.

So our lives move along, and I will try to let go of these nagging thoughts, and look on the bright side of it all. I look forward to spending time with our family on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and not think beyond that for now. Here's wishing you all a very happy Christmas time with your families, too!

Standing MRI Tomorrow / Praying for Friends

Hubby went off yesterday morning to his stint on Jury Duty, only to be sent back home. All the cases for this week had been handled through plea bargains, and there were no cases!! He had to call back last night to see if anything had changed, and they dismissed all the jurors!!

So, I got busy making arrangements to have my MRI done, and it is scheduled for tomorrow. I'm going to call my Neurologist's office today and see if they have any suggestions, because it dawned on me that with this standing MRI, I would need to be still for quite awhile. That was not a problem with the knee MRI I had done at this same place. I was not having foot and leg tremors then, but I am now.

It just seems like this PD manages to worm its way into every single thing I try to do.

I shouldn't be whining, though, as I am so much better off than some of my Parkie friends are. It grieves me, for their sakes, to read of all the pain and problems that PD is causing some wonderful people that I care deeply about on the PLM forum and on the PD blogs I keep up with. I keep them in the forefront of my prayers daily.

Hubby and I are also extremely concerned about a young teen aged, very gifted and sweet boy from our church, who is seriously ill. He went to the doctor Friday, but the doctor ran all kinds of tests and could not find anything to explain how sick he felt, and sent him back home.

Saturday he was in the hospital with pneumonia. Monday, he was put in ICU, and yesterday he was airlifted to the ICU at Children's Hospital in Birmingham.

This single mom has a Downs Syndrome child, as well, so attending to the needs of both of them must be putting all kinds of extra strain on her during this scary time. Thankfully, she has family living nearby who can help her out. We spent a few minutes with him in the ICU yesterday, only to come home and find out about the airlift. I talked to her for just a moment or two in the ICU waiting room at Children's last night, and she sounded OK, but I imagine she is faking a lot of that calm.

So, I feel very small and insignificant at times like this, with my petty little problems. All we can do is keep them in our prayers, and offer to help in any way we can.

Hopeful News on Stem Cell Research with NO ETHICAL COMPLICATIONS!!

Great news from the New York Times today!

Science
Scientists Bypass Need for Embryo to Get Stem Cells
By GINA KOLATA
Published: November 21, 2007
Turning human skin cells into what appear to be embryonic stem cells without having to make or destroy an embryo could quell an ethical debate.

I am one of those who has ethical and religious objections to using human embryos for stem cell research. When you consider that I am also one of those people who will benefit so greatly by this kind of research, an article such as this one in the New York Times today gets me very excited.

And now today, another article from the New York Times:

Science
Man Who Helped Start Stem Cell War May End It
By GINA KOLATA
Published: November 22, 2007
James A. Thomson’s laboratory reported a way to turn human cells into what appear to be embryonic stem cells.

Cpap Adventure Continues

I've been on the new full face mask for a week now, with one extremely good night's sleep, night before last. I've been awake since 12:30AM today, though. I woke up with air just jetting out from under the bottom of the mask, where the silicon soft part had come out of the plastic part of the mask. By the time I woke up enough to realize what the problem was, and then fixed it, I was wide awake. I'm also continuing to have problems with my skin. I'm ready to try the all over the face kind. That's not supposed to irritate skin, as it fits at the hairline and all around the face completely. This is the last style there is, basically, so I'm about to run out of options, other than not use it at all. That 8 hours of sleep on Sunday night gave me such high hopes, too.

I continue to struggle with terrible gas, and I'll be calling my Gastro's nurse today to report in. Stopping the Amitiza just didn't help any. Nothing has really changed as far as feeling like something is wrong with my elimination process, either.

We walked at the track again yesterday morning, after several days off. This time it was due to DH having some pains, as I think he over did it when we started back walking the other day. Hopefully, he'll be OK this morning, and we can get our walk in. I also worked in the yard early yesterday morning, putting another pile in the Lasagna Compost area and digging around the foundation of our new garage. We need to get a drainage ditch around the front edge, so I'm hoeing just a little bit each day. I'm also trying to sweep off the driveway every day or so, as that is good exercise for my shoulders. It sure does feel funny, though, trying to sweep left handed. But I need to exercise both shoulders, so I do it, funny feeling or not. And boy, am I right sided. I'm pitiful trying to sweep "backwards". LOL

I've been doing more research, trying to see if there is anything I've missed about CPAP. I did find that I'm supposed to have the machine below head level, a fact that escaped me somehow. I didn't keep it on long enough last night to know if that would stop the "rain out", as it is called. That's when the humidifier in the machine causes condensation in the tubing, because the air in the room is cooler. I can't do without the moistened air, so I will need to deal with the condensation. It got so bad one night that it sounded like the thing was gargling!

I was also trying to find out of the machine is aggravating the gas I'm having, and yes, CPAP does often cause that, as many people swallow the air. It's supposed to be something you grow out of, and can be lessened by using the Ramp Up switch, which starts the pressure lower so you can go to sleep easier. I hadn't been using it, since going to sleep has never been my problem. But I did use it last night, and will from now on.

For all that I'm discouraged this morning, after so little sleep last night, I am still hopeful that I will adjust to the CPAP. I'm not so optimistic about my digestive system problem, though, and I am still wanting the colonoscopy. My legs and hands continue to be swollen with fluid, too. We'll see what the doctor has to say today.

Wonderful Cortisone

I went to the Orthopedist yesterday and talked to him about my knee and shoulder. I'm satisfied that the shoulder is responding well to the Physical Therapy, and I can tell that the leg, hip, and thigh muscles have strengthened since I've been going to PT, but my knee still will not straighten all the way out, and getting up and down from a chair still is extremely painful. So, he's put in a request with my insurance for the MRI, so we'll both know what's going on in there.

He did ask me if I wanted a Cortisone shot, and said it might give me relief for anywhere from a few days to a few months. The shot hurt something horrible going in, and the knee was awfully sore yesterday, but it's not hurting now! It's been so long since I could sit down without inwardly, or sometimes outwardly, groaning, that this is quite a pleasant change. I pray that I will be one of the ones to get long term relief with the shot. I've always had good success with epidurals lasting a long time, so I'm optimistic.

I did ask about going back for more PT, and his PA told me I needed to check with my insurance to see how many times they will authorize. She said I might want to keep some therapy sessions available, just in case I do end up having surgery. It's a shame that insurance companies control decisions like this, not the doctors and therapists who know how much I need this. I have good insurance though, so I'll be talking to them Monday to find out where I stand.

I had already decided before I got hurt taking care of Daddy that I would join a fitness "club" run by St. Vincent's hospital in Birmingham after he died, but the knee put that on hold. They have a program where you pay for a complete evaluation of your physical condition and they supervise your exercise program, with quarterly checkups of your progress with a Physical Therapist. They have all kinds of equipment, a pool, and lots of different classes I can take. I've been chatting back and forth with Lynda of Pilates & Reiki in Paradise about possible nearby instructors suitable for a person with Parkinson's, and oddly enough, this is the very Pilates class she suggested. Small world.

So, for the time being at least, I'm pain free, with plans for keeping it that way. We're going on our usual Date Day today, and by the time I've been in and out of the car dozens of times today, I'll know if I'm going to be one of the lucky one for whom Cortisone is a wonder drug. Wish me luck!!

Amniotic Fluid - Source of Stem Cells?!?

The breaking news that scientists have been able to isolate stem cells in amniotic fluid and placental tissue is quite exciting! Not only have they recovered these cells, but they have already been successful in the lab in growing them into various tissues. The research will have to continue for some years, more than likely, so it's not as though PWP (people with Parkinson's) are going to be able to order up a cure any time soon.

This whole stem cell research area has been an issue I have always had very mixed feelings about. I've never been able to feel comfortable with the embryonic stem cell approach that many have endorsed, because in my estimation of it, this type of research would eventually lead to intentional creation of human embryos just for this purpose. I consider that immoral.

Amniotic fluid and placental tissue, on the other hand, have no such possible misuse concerns that I can imagine. I also understand from what I have read that the embryonic stem cells tend to cause tumors when implanted, whereas the amniotic and placental tissue cells so far have not been found to have that flaw.

Right now scientists are working with only 21 embryonic stem cell groups. With amniotic fluid as the source, scientists would have hundreds or even thousands of genetic strains of stem cells that could be matched, according to today's news, with 99% of the population of the US.

Just think of the implications for those with spinal cord injuries, Parkinson's Disease, Alzheimer's Disease, and many other neurological disorders!!

Yes, I have Parkinson's Disease, but it looks like I may be one of the fortunate ones who will live to see the day that doctors can cure this terrible disease, instead of just trying to alleviate symptoms. Thanks be to God for this unspeakable gift!!

A New Year & Renewed Hope

Today is the first day of a new year, and I must say, I'm glad to see 2006 over and done with. Not many years in my life have involved as many health related problems as last year did. My DH and I both had surgery, and our older DD spent months recuperating from Peripheral Neuropathy, caused by nutritional problems from previous Gastric Bypass surgery. I stayed with her each of the many times she went to the hospital, and I also stayed with her at her house, helping her with a gastric feeding tube, which did not work properly, and was eventually removed. On top of that, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's and Peripheral Neuropathy. And then, the day after Thanksgiving, my 101 year old Daddy fell from what must have been a light stroke. He can no longer take care of himself, so DH and I have been taking turns staying with him ever since, with the help of Hospice and a hired part time sitter.

So I have high hopes for this New Year of 2007. I figure it's time we had a quiet year. We survived last year, through God's grace, with our sanity more or less intact, but with our faith definitely stronger. What's that expression that Neiche(sp?) gets quoted on all the time? "That which does not kill us, strengthens us." I think that's correct, and I certainly believe it.

I'm still pleased with the combination of Miralax and glycerine suppositories, as my digestion PD symptoms have improved tremendously. Tomorrow is my last day to be on Requip, and then on Wednesday I'm going to start taking Zelepar. This is really the first time I've tried a Parkinson's medicine when my digestive system was settled down before I started taking the new meds. At least the Zelepar will have a decent chance of working, without tearing my stomach up!

So I start the New Year full of hope and expectation that it will be a good year.