Mouth Spasms Still a Problem Sometimes

I have had a couple of days since the great improvement that have not been as pleasant as most have been, and yesterday was one of them. It starts out innocently enough, with a little mouth movement in the mornings. But as the day progresses the twitches get harder and harder.

I have tried relaxation techniques, getting busy and trying to ignore it, and chewing gum, but once the twitch starts I don't seem to be able to get it stopped. By the end of the day my whole face aches from the constant muscle spasms. The same thing happened late July 4th Holiday and all day Saturday, which I attributed to just being tired from all the family celebration and noise. But yesterday has no explanation.

When I tried to go to sleep I became aware of small muscle tensions and aches here and there all over my body, and I had one of the worst foot cramp episodes I have had in some time. Not only the toes, but also the arch went into full spasm, and it took pushing with a lot of pressure to get it stopped. I had to get back up and stand on my tiptoes as best I could to get rid of it.

Luckily I am sleeping well now, so once I was asleep it went away. Our bodies are naturally paralyzed in our sleep, so it gives some relief from the spasms. My mouth is behaving itself this morning, thank goodness. I can only hope that it continues to stay calm.

I am beginning to use an exercise/relaxation tape every other day now. I do pretty well with the upright exercises, but I am just pitiful on the floor. It's all I can do to get down there and back up, let alone do the stretches. But I try. Then when I do get back up it takes me a good bit of moving around to stop the cramps in the tendons at the upper thigh. My whole body is clamped down tighter than a drum, and it's going to take some doing to get any flexibility back. One day at a time, being a little more active each day and increasing my range of motion slowly, is the only way I know how to do it.

Even though the mouth problem and the foot cramps are very painful and aggravating, I am still so much better than I was that there is no comparison. I continue to be so thankful for my vast improvement and remain optimistic.

Primidone is HELPING!!

I've been trying to get to this post for several days now, and other things just kept getting in the way. Also, it looks like I have good news, and I didn't want to celebrate too soon.

I finally got in touch with Dr. Watts' UAB Neurology team, and he sent in a prescription for Primidone on Friday a week ago. I took my first dose Friday night, and was pretty well looped all day Saturday, and almost as drugged feeling all day Sunday. But I was NOT jerking, and my hand was still! My walking was very odd, like I was on a boat or a dock. When I stood still I kind of wobbled, instead of shaking, as if it were slowing the speed of the movements down and increasing the amplitude, if that makes any sense. That lasted for several days, but then by about Wednesday I was only noticing the good effects. As long as the dose was in me, I did not shake, wobble, or tremor at all. Ignoring the slow walking, I was back to NORMAL! Even my handwriting improved. I was not depressed, but trying not to celebrate too soon, because the next step was to add a morning dose, and I wasn't sure what was going to happen then.

I started taking a second dose in the morning as well on Monday. I do get a little woozy feeling for just a little while about an hour or two after I take it, but other than that, it seems to be helping a lot. I have a slight mouth twitch today, the third day I have had two doses, which I did not have Monday or Tuesday. But that is the only symptom other than the slow walking that I have! I do have to be more careful with steps - it's like I can't tell where my feet are.

I am not depressed at all with the Primidone, the way I was with the Clonazepam, and I am very hopeful that this medicine will work for me. I am still doing research on this medicine, but its brand name is Mysoline, and its primary use is in controlling seizures. They assured me that there were no signs of seizures from my tests, so this is what they call an off label use of the drug.

This medicine has a very long half life, and that means there is still plenty of the drug in my system when it is time to take the next dose. Actually, when I was taking just the one pill, I took it at 7:00PM and it did not completely wear off until four or five o'clock the next afternoon. I am also on the lowest dose, so there is room to go if I get used to the medicine and need to up the dosage.

Did you see me doing the happy dance????

I am so thankful to God for his tender mercies!!!!!!!!!!

Dyskinesia Wears Me Out

Saturday was a fairly good day, but Sunday was not good at all. By the time Sunday School was over, I was twitching and jerking pretty badly. The more my mouth jerks when I am in public, the more stress and self consciousness I feel, which just feeds more jerking. The chewing gum helps up to a point, but it does not stop it, plus my jaw gets tired after awhile from the chewing.

My walking becomes much more unsteady when I am going through one of these episodes, too. Nothing I did helped much on Sunday, but then Monday wasn't bad at all, by comparison. I managed to get past 5:00PM again with almost no spasms. Then it came on gradually.

Yesterday, it started as a small lip twitch and jiggly foot in the morning and progressed to such constant movement by the end of the day that I was actually tired from all the muscle movements. My face ached, my toes and fingers were cramping, and I was generally miserable. I tried going to sleep early, just to get away from it, but I wasn't sleepy. So, I took a long, hot shower. That helped considerably, relaxing the worst of the muscle movements. But by the time I was dressed again and my hair was dry, I was beginning to twitch all over again forcibly. That was the last straw. I took 2 Benadryl, and conked myself out. That helps me in two ways, as it helps to dry up the patches of poison ivy I continue to have, and it puts me to sleep rather quickly.

I'm still a little woozy feeling from the Benadryl, but other than that, I am nice and calm this morning. It almost looks like an every other day pattern, but there really is no pattern. I can't determine anything I am doing, or not doing, that causes the difference in the days. I've decided to try to graph the strength of the Dyskinesia, as it is called, for maybe a week, and see if I can spot anything I am doing that makes it better or worse.

I'm writing this with only tiny little signs of the jerking and twitching, so I hope for a good day today.

On Days - Off Days

I am definitely less depressed since gradually cutting the dose and frequency of the Clonazepam, but it has not been very predictable. Thursday I went until sometime after 5:00PM without any facial tics at all, and then spent the whole evening jerking like crazy. when I'm like that, my face contorts, my left shoulder jerks forward, and my foot dances a jig uncontrollably. I was on a half pill only at night then. Friday I jerked and twitched all day long, also on the half pill dose. I also had a huge startle reflex while we were out on our Date Day, something I haven't done to that extent in some time. Now today, Saturday, my mouth is all quiet and well behaved so far. I did not take even the half pill of the Clonazepam last night.

I had called twice to UAB, trying to get them to go on and send in the prescription for an alternative to the Clonazepam, because our drugstore would be closed from Friday evening until Tuesday. They did not get it called in, nor did I get a callback from a member of Dr. Watt's team. The receptionist did tell me on my second call that Dr. D was sick. He is the member of the team who apparently is the one I will be seeing the most. So, I have to assume that is why nothing was taken care of.

I have found that I can at least mask what my mouth is doing in public by chewing sugar free gum. I've always been a gum smacker, so I am trying to get out of that habit, and reach a point were I can slowly chew and control the horrible twisting, twitching, and jerks my mouth does so much.

The right foot continues to do its own little dance, which makes me feel unstable as I stand still or walk. Going up and down steps is harder when there is no way of knowing what my foot is going to do at the moment. So I am still using the cane everywhere except here in the house and at church. The few steps I have to deal with at church are entrances, and hubby is there with me going in and out, so I can skip the cane and feel a little more inconspicuous.

I should have taken the last dose of the Clonazepam last night, but I thought it would be wiser to see how I would be today, rather than being even more unpredictable than usual for church tomorrow morning. Since I've been OK today, it looks like the decreasing dosing was done slowly enough to not leave any withdrawal symptoms. But there is now way of knowing how I will be in the next minute, let alone tomorrow for church.

I continue to stay busy searching and posting on our Lost Toy blog, and have been able to help quite a few families, thanks to all the folks who read the requests for help and search for them, too. If you have never been to that blog, you ought to go read some of the stories and try to help them. It's a very satisfying feeling to help them. And I continue to add to our online Plush Toy catalog, too, so I stay very busy.

Oh, and I mustn't forget to mention that it looks like our Centipede grass is actually beginning to come up in the composted side yard. I worked for a little while this morning in between the shrubs and the driveway, digging that section up and trying to get as many of the weeds out of that section as I can. We can plant Centipede here until July, so I should have it ready long before then.

Take each moment as it comes, Rosemary - a lesson I am being taught daily.

Misery Loves Doesn't Love Company

I am so counting the days until my appointment next week! The depression level I am feeling is so pervasive that I am not fit to be around right now. Hubby is doing what he can to leave me alone and not trigger another crying spell. Or worse, make me mad. We had an actual verbal fight last week, which is most unusual for us.

I knew when I worked in the basement while he was gone that he would be livid when he found out, but I did it anyway. I just needed to be "normal" for a little while so badly that I didn't care that it would cause a fight. He won't let me go down in the basement, because he is afraid I will fall. We do have a horrible mess down there, that needs cleaning out terribly, and I am much more impatient about it than he is.

I hate depending on someone else to get something done that I should be able to do myself. I hate being sick. I hate shaking. I hate being off balance. I hate being seen in public jerking all over the place. I hate using the cane and looking like each step is going to be my last. I hate looking old. I hate not being able to do any work in the yard long enough to accomplish anything.

But most of all I hate this horrible feeling that they are not going to find anything physically wrong with me, and that I am going to end up on some psychiatrist's couch or on mind altering drugs. This Clonazepam is bad enough. I looked up the side effects, and depression and loss of balance are right there in black and white. I'm taking a med to stop some of the very things it will give me - doesn't make much sense does it. I still have the strong mouth tics when I am the least bit upset, and my face is definitely beginning to contort, with right eyebrow high, left eyelid drooping over the eye, and mouth pulled to the left. It looks like I have had a stroke, and can't control the left side of my face, but it's actually quite the opposite, the muscles on the left pull it that way.

I did finally recuperate from the left leg weakness and pain left over from the EEG test, but my nerves have yet to settle back down from the super loud MRI last week. I'm crying at almost everything right now, and can't stand noise at all. The loud TV commercials are bothering me so badly that hubby has started hitting the mute button when they come on. Last Sunday, for some strange reason, the young fellow who runs our sanctuary sound system had some of "his" kind of religious music piping in the auditorium before church. As far as I know that has never happened before. People were talking louder than usual to be heard over the extra noise. I sat there for a few minutes, and then told hubby we had to leave. I just couldn't take it. So, we were some of the first folks at our favorite Chinese restaurant last Sunday. I went to church that night, and it was fine. But that morning was horrible.

I am not sleeping as well as I was, either. Some nights have been good, but there have been a few of the kind I used to have, where I am up at 3 or 4 in the morning. I am not using the TAP, as I just don't think I can deal with it right now. Somehow I just have to make it through until next Wednesday.

I've completely rearranged one of the bedrooms we keep part of our plush lovies stock in, and I have worked some in the yard, trying to get the area ready to plant grass where I worked on the lasagna compost all winter long. I'm trying very hard to stay busy and focused on something besides me, but it ain't workin'!!

Wow! That was quite a rant, even for me!! But it felt good to put it down on paper and acknowledge it. It's real, and I'm not exaggerating. Hopefully, I will be able to look back on this post soon and be thankful it is all over. I always cling to hope, even in my darkest despairing times. God is good. AMEN!

3T MRI Today

I had the high powered MRI today. Up until a few years ago it was only used in research facilities, but now it is being used for clinical diagnoses. It uses a much stronger magnet than a regular MRI, which means it gets a much finer image of the brain. That's the good part.

The bad part is that it is horribly loud. Even with the headset on to muffle it, I found the high pitched sounds at the beginning and somewhere near the middle to be excruciating. I took a whole Clonazepam pill before having it done, hoping it would diminish my tics somewhat, so they could get clear pictures. They also put extra padding on each side of the helmet like halo to further stabilize my head. They had a good cushion to put under my knees, so I did not have to try to keep my legs bent to deal with the back problems. That was a blessing.

We had to walk through about 4 blocks of hospital buildings (all the buildings have crosswalks over the streets)to get to the MRI section, because the Parking Deck we were supposed to use was Full. There was no way I was going to be able to walk back after the test, as I was way too wobbly, so we waited for transport to take me in a wheelchair.

We have two weeks now to wait for our next appointment with Dr. Watt's team to find out the results of all the tests. so, I'd appreciate it if you would keep us in your thoughts and prayers. There's still a part of me that cannot let go of the thought that all that has been going on with me for the last two years is psychosomatic. I may not be crazy, but I can't shake the thought that this is all my fault - that I have brought all these symptoms on myself as a stress reaction to the last ten years plus of difficult care giving. I desperately need to KNOW what is going on. I need strength to survive the wait.

Unexpected Aftermath of EEG Test - Still on Clonazapam

I had an EEG back when my own Neuro was trying to decide what was wrong with me, so I knew what to expect. Well, I thought I knew what to expect. My "good" left foot has been extremely painful and difficult to walk on for the last few days. At first I blamed it on all the walking we did at the cemetery in my Sketchers, which I now use as Sunday shoes. But I don't think that was the culprit.

I was on the exam table for about 45 minutes, jerking and shaking the whole time. I can't lay down flat like that without setting off back spasms, so I put my good knee up and had my bare foot pressed against the thin pad of the exam table. I must have been pushing down on my foot a lot harder than I realized, in an effort to bear the discomfort of all the jerking. It is gradually improving, but I noticed yesterday that my thigh is also aching. My foot was hurting so badly that I had not even noticed the leg. So, I've decided that's what is wrong with my foot, rather than my shoes. Those are the only unclunky looking shoes I have been able to wear, so I am glad that they probably did not cause my good leg to give me so much trouble.

You are supposed to go up with the good and down with the bad leg, so it was comical yesterday at church trying to figure out which foot to lead with. One hurt, and the other shook! LOL I decided it was safer to lead with the painful one, rather than the jerky one. At least I was less likely to fall.

Speaking of shaking, the Clonazapam may be helping some, particularly with my mouth, but I am staying in a stupor, sleeping through my morning pill alarm, and just generally fuzzed out. He says it will go away --- I sure hope so. Otherwise, I won't be able to take this med.

I can't see any improvement in my foot or my shoulder jerks, though. I'm waiting now to hear about my MRI appointment. I am going to call them today, since we still have not heard from them.

Patience ... still haven't learned it.

Had a New EEG Test Yesterday

I had my second EEG test yesterday, but my reactions to it were considerably different from the one I had two years ago. Back then, my Neurologist was trying to decide if I had Parkinson's or not. My only symptom at that time was a very labored, slow walk, that he called Bradykinesia. I did not have any problems with the EEG test at all.

Things have changed a good bit since then. Now I have lots of tremors, jerks, and facial tics, that only get worse if I am in a stressful situation, or cannot get my mind "somewhere else". I have discovered that when I am deeply concentrating on something, such as writing here on the computer, that the movements are quieted down considerably.

But put me in a situation that is the least stressful, or in one where I am just sitting with nothing actively going on, and I turn into the hurky jerky girl. Church is the usual place that happens. The only way to stop it that I have found is to go into a meditative state, finding some minute crack or spot on the wall to give my total attention to. It spaces me out, I don't hear the sermon, but at least I am not bothering all the people who sit behind us.

And now I know that it happens during EEG tests, too. With nothing to occupy my concentration, following her directions to do fast open mouth breathing for 3 minutes to make me hyperventilate, and some very uncomfortable series of strobe lights that made me feel even more stressed, there just wasn't any way to stop the jerks. The harder I tried to be still, as she had asked, the more I moved. She finally gave up and said at least it would let the doctors see what my brain was doing while my body was doing its own thing. She did tell me to open my mouth and stop pressing my lips together, so my mouth trembled and pulled to the left the whole time, too.

It took 45 minutes to complete the test, and I was exhausted the rest of the day.

The funny part was my hair!! They do not use the scull cap method, so each of these electrodes was stuck to my scalp with something like KY jelly. And there were lots of electrodes - maybe in the 20's? When she was through and told me to look in the mirror, I looked like something from a Monty Python movie. I smoothed my hair down as best I could, but would have loved to have walked out just as I was, so hubby could get a kick out of it. If he had been the only one in the waiting room I would have, but it was a very busy place.

We were set to drive some distance to a family funeral after the test, so I had anticipated the hair goo and planned to stop at any franchise hair salon along the way and get my hair washed. So that was easily enough taken care of. I am glad I knew to expect that, as it could have been a real problem if we had been running short on time. I didn't appreciate having to pay $12 just to get it washed and blown dry with no styling, but there wasn't anything else to do. I had also brought a complete change of clothes and shoes, so I would not have to take the test in good clothes.

We did get into a situation of some very expensive parking at UAB, though, that just added to the very expensive day. We parked in the closest parking deck to the Sparks Clinic at UAB, but they would not validate his ticket, since we had not used the "right" deck. Of course, they had not told me that I should park in any particular one when they called to tell me the appointment time. So, instead of costing $4.50 to park, it cost us $15.00!!! We were not at all happy about that!! UAB will be hearing from me about that today!!

When we did get to Cleveland, the little town in north Alabama where the funeral was going to be, we ate at a very nice looking local restaurant. Not surprisingly, considering the way the rest of the day had been, their prices were high. So, we took the lunch special of the day. The vegetables were great, but the meat was lousy. The waitress seemed genuinely shocked when hubby complained about it.

I really was worn out by the time the graveside funeral was over, so we begged off on eating at the church with the family and headed straight home. This was my sister in law's side of the family, so I really didn't know that many people there anyway, and I am not comfortable in unfamiliar social situations. I have always been that way, but it's gotten worse now that I jerk and twitch so much.

So we had a full day, one that I am glad to have over with. I have an appointment with Dr. Watt's team in May, with an MRI to be schedules before then, so I will have to wait that long to find out the results of the EEG. Should be very revealing, since I displayed the full range of all my jerks, tics, smirks, and shakes while the brain's electrical activity was being graphed.

I am optimistic that all these tests are going to show more than they did two years ago, and that they will be able to decide what is wrong with me with more certainty. Of course, I know there is no such thing medically in life as a certainty, but I can rely on God to get me through it all. Patience, Rosemary, Patience.

I Have Been to THE Appointment

Well, we went Thursday to see Dr. Watts, the head of Neurology at the University of Alabama in Birmingham, who has a great reputation as a Movement Disorder Specialist.

We were both very impressed with how personable he is. One of the other doctors on his staff did all of the preliminary questioning and testing. He was very easy to be with, too. Most of the tests were ones I have been asked to do many times in the last couple of years. A few were different. They both had me make big smiles with my teeth showing several times, which is not something I remember being asked to do by anyone else, and Dr. Watts had me repeat a few of the tests the assistant had already done.

They also gave me the impression that my family history of neurological problems is an important clue - mother with Senile Parkinson's or Alzheimer's - uncle with ALS - aunt with depression, drug addiction, alcoholism - grandfather was senile, possibly Alzheimer's? Until they asked lots of probing questions I had never connected my Grandfather's behavior and my Aunt's behavior as being pertinent. That's why doctors ask things over and over, isn't it.

Of course, they asked me a million questions about what my symptoms were like, and when and how they started, many questions asked several times. Some I could answer, and some I really couldn't. He was very interested in knowing about anti-depression and tranquilizer drugs I have taken in the past. I have been on several for short periods of time because of the stress of caring for our parents and our daughters, but I couldn't tell him much about which ones I have taken. I should be able to get that information from my Primary and from our Pharmacist, plus I rounded up a bunch of prescription bottles of them that I had kept - just in case.

Dr. Watts sat down right in front of me, looked me in the eye, smiled, and talked with me. I had no sense of him being in a hurry to move on to the next patient. That is so rare in doctors these days, and certainly not what I expected out of such a highly renowned specialist.

OK, so now to what happened. I put on quite a show of jerks, tremors, and facial tics the whole time, partly because I was so nervous about what they would find or not find. There is a big part of my mind that is just sure this has all been a psychological problem, but at least he never said that. At least not yet.

I gave a pint of blood in the lab (OK, so I'm exaggerating - but it was maybe 8 vials full), looking for some clue as to what is going on. He talked to me about the possibility of some kind of antibody/autoimmune problem where my own body is causing the problems. He also seemed to think it might be symptoms caused from one of the medicines I have taken in the past.

He has also ordered an MRI at UAB. He says their MRI equipment is different from others I have been in, in that it is more powerful and may see something that the others did not. Plus, it's been 2 years since I had a brain MRI, and whatever is going on might show up now that hadn't progressed enough to show back then. They will call me with that appointment, so I don't know when that will be.

He talked with his assistant, Dr. D, about lots of things it might be, with all kinds of medical jargon. Dr. D was jotting down notes the whole time and seemed to be making a list of possible diagnoses as they discussed my symptoms. Every once in awhile Dr. Watts would ask me to do something or ask more questions. It was exactly like watching a real live "HOUSE" team in action. When he was through talking back and forth with Dr. D, Dr. Watts gave us a layman's explanation of some of the possibilities. I am not going to list them, since obviously they can't all be it, and maybe even none of them are "it". I did come home and get busy Googling every term I could remember hearing them discussing. You knew I would do that, didn't you. LOL!

He did put me on a titrating dose schedule of Clonazepam, to see if that would calm down the jerks and tics. He said I would be sleepy with it at first, but that this would wear off as my body adjusted to it. I am to take 1/2 tablet at night for a week, then morning and night, and work up to 1 full and 2 halves a day. I have an appointment to see someone else in the practice in May to go over the findings. He said that Dr. D and Dr. Watts would be in on the conference with us at that time.

At this point about all I do know is that it is looking less and less likely that I have Parkinson's, but that I do have some type of Movement Disorder as yet to be named.

We've not told family or friends about all this yet. They know I had the appointment but not why I had it. We decided there was no point in making anyone else worry about all this. We will wait until we actually know something to tell them. I can write it all here, which helps me process it all, because nobody I know personally reads this blog.

Been to the Physiatrist and I'm Still Very Busy

I saw the Physiatrist yesterday. He's the doctor who had to review my records before he would agree to even see me. As it turns out, oddly enough, he is the person who did my original EMG and Nerve Velocity Tests.

I was extremely pleased that he did a complete checkup, rather than just asking about my neck. He went through a complete neurological exam, but didn't venture much as to what he thought was wrong, other than to say Dr. Watts was the one who would be able to say what is going on. He did say he was sure I had some kind of Movement Disorder, but he didn't think it was Parkinson's, either.

He went over some options for the neck pain that has persisted since November. We agreed to try the least possible first, particularly since I will see Dr. Watts in less than three weeks. It's hard to imagine that something I've waited so long for is almost here! Anyway, the Physiatrist gave me a prescription for Lidoderm patches that I cut and apply to the trigger points of this pain. They are basically Novacaine that goes through the skin to the muscle. He felt like I would not have any stomach problems by doing it that way.

I put half on the top of my shoulder near the neck and the other half just below the shoulder blade, next to the spine. Those are the spots that really scream if I sit or stand unsupported for very long. Even the time to wash a full sink of dishes or eat a meal at the table is usually enough to set it off, and sitting on the church pews has been very uncomfortable.

I felt a little bit light headed soon after putting the patch on, but that could have been for any number of reasons, as I had not eaten breakfast yet. I am hurting now, but maybe not as bad as usual. Obviously, one day's use can't calm down this spasm, so I will just have to see how I do. The prescription is for 3 months worth, and thank goodness I have Medicare and good insurance, as it was listed at over $500!

I've been going around in circles lately trying to get a whole lot of things accomplished all at once, and not getting much finished at all. We have started on our taxes, but there are some parts that I must work on before the exact number can go in the form. I've been doing them with software for years, but this time my hubby sat down next to me and we went over each part together. That helped me stay calm, plus he needs to know how it's done.

I'm also trying really hard to get as many of our toys in our online catalog as I possibly can, and I have run into several road blocks I had not anticipated. I had to learn how to use a Shopping Cart program, upload and download files to Google and our ISP to make a searchable data base, and I have been driven half crazy trying to get the catalog to show up properly in Google Base. OK, I know if you are not using the programs yourself that was just a bunch of gobbledygook - but they were very confusing to me, too, and I am definitely not learning new things as quickly as I once did.

I've had printer problems and had to buy a new one yesterday, so I couldn't mail out some orders today, because I hadn't figured out how to set up the network part of it. That actually worked pretty well, once I did understand the directions, and it even has an answering machine and fax included in it! I feel like I have my own home office now.

Our Search Service is keeping me extremely busy, too, and we have made a few sales from it, as well as helping several very happy parents find the lovie they needed, whether we made the sale or someone else did. I am pretty much caught up with answering the initial request, but I am miserably behind at getting the ones I could not find turned into blog posts.

I feel bad about that, as some of these parents sound so desperate, but hubby is still computer phobic, and that leaves this part of the business entirely up to me. He's great at scouring the yard sales and thrift stores several times a week when he goes out on his own, and we thoroughly enjoy our Friday Date Day, and he helps a lot with the packing. He takes everything to the Post Office, too, and he has a lot of input about how to do the business side of selling. He just doesn't want anything to do with the computer part.

Well, enough about all that. It just goes to show that I am staying busy with lots of different parts of my life - and our messy house proves it. Something had to give - so.....


Hopefully it won't be so long before I post again.

Twitching Along ....

We went on our usual Date Day today and visited three Estate Sales. Two were complete duds, but the last one was fun. It was an old country house chock full of a lifetime of collecting all kinds of odds and ends. We both enjoyed ourselves there, and then we stopped by our usual Thrift Store haunts in that area and found enough plush lovies to more than make the day break even. It's fun having a hobby that pays for itself, plus helps other people, too.

We had our second meeting yesterday with our new Financial Adviser, in the process of deciding how to best protect our future and be sure there is money in place to take care of our needs. Our daughters know that we do not want to go to a Nursing Home, but realistically we can't assume they will be in a position to keep one or both of us at home, the way we did our parents. That's way too much a burden to blithely assume someone else will tackle. That means considering Long Term Care Insurance and putting money aside to pay for in home care if at all possible. We've paid out enough over the last ten years to know what is involved, and it's certainly not cheap.

He went over several different options with us, and I was having a really hard time following the differences, pros, cons, etc. So was hubby. We asked lots of questions, some several times, and he patiently went over each concern. We left with several brochures, still not sure of what we need to do. We'll see him again next week, after he's had time to pursue the options we were most interested in. There will be a Long Term Care expert at our next meeting, too.

We won't be able to settle some arrangements until I have a diagnosis. After all, what new insurance company would insure me for anything when my own doctor can't say what is wrong with me! So, for now I am stuck with the insurance I already have, and we can only do the research for more appropriate kinds.

Did I say stress makes my twitches and tremors worse? Yep, you guessed it. By the time we left I was grimacing and shaking like I was keeping time to some peppy music. Hubby even asked me if I was doing my hand on purpose, because it really did look like I was in tempo with the CD. But no, it was my body doing its own little dance duet. I "cured" the nerves the way I always do ...CHOCOLATE!!! Hubby knows what to do, so we stopped and I gorged on brownies. Better than any tranquilizer I have ever used, as there is no spaced out feeling afterwards. ;)

Still Doing Without Parkinson's Meds

I've been off all PD meds now since Jan. 25, and not doing a whole lot differently now than I was when I was on the meds. That has several possible meanings, so it really doesn't tell me much.

It could mean that I don't have PD.
It could mean that I have PD, and I'm one of the people who is not helped by the usual or any meds.
It could mean that these symptoms are related to lumbar and cervical disk problems I have.
It could mean that it's all in my head - that it's psychosomatic.
It could mean I do have some kind of neurological problem that has not been determined at this point.
It could be that these symptoms are from the Peripheral Neuropathy that I definitely have.

Whatever it means, I'm certainly not able to decide, so I continue to count the days until I see the MDS in April.

I have had several "spells" lately when I felt particularly stressed emotionally. Trying to get our taxes done, and dealing with my insurance company about the TAP claim both increased my symptoms.

But the worst was last Sunday during Sunday School. Our teacher was not there, but had left an outline of what she wanted us to discuss. We've done this before, as we are quite capable of carrying on a discussion on our own. For some reason, though, we weren't getting anywhere with the discussion, so they asked me to lead it. These are people I'm used to being around, I taught Sunday School for a long time before I had to stay home with parents, and I taught school for 29 years. Leading it meant moving from the back row I normally sit on, and sitting in front of everyone, instead. Trying to lead the discussion up front brought on the facial tics big time, and I was shaking much more than usual. The worse it got, the more self conscious I became of them seeing me jerk and shake, and that made it just that much worse. I finally just told them I needed to stop, because it was making me too nervous. Time was almost up, anyway, so that was the end of class.

It took me a long time to relax after that, and just thinking about it now is bringing back some of the stress.

I really don't think my symptoms are psychosomatic, but there's no doubt that stress makes them worse. That's why I'm usually at my worst at the Neurologist's office.

I've just bought a new laptop computer, and this one has the built in camera. I took a notion the other day to video myself while I worked at the computer. It was a very revealing look at my facial tics, even when I am busy and not particularly aware of them. Maybe I should save some videos and take my computer with me to the MDS appointment. Well, probably not, but I may keep some for myself, anyway.

Hubby and I talked about how I've been doing lately, and he is in agreement that I really don't seem much different off of the meds than I was when I was on them.

I continue to use the TENS device for my neck pain, as well as the Cervical Collar that I pump up, so it works like traction. I'm also doing the series of neck exercises daily, but we haven't started back to walking yet. Hubby is having a bad flareup with his back, and he's just not up to it right now. So, I piddle with the compost heap a couple of hours a week, and I am still working hard to get all our toys online in our shop catalog. That involves a good bit of shifting and lifting of tubs of toys, so I am getting some exercise each day.

All in all, I'd say my quality of life is better than a few months ago, at least, and for that I am grateful.

Still Doing Pretty Well

I'm still off the PD meds, and I just updated my Profile on PLM. My PDRS score, which is a way of quantifying symptoms, is better than it was a month ago. Of course it's still a very crude way to put a score on something that really can't be scored. If you've ever had to tell a nurse or doctor how you rate your pain on a 1 to 10 scale, then you know what I mean.

Church is still hard on me, as the pews are not comfortable for me now. They should be, as they have a very good cushion, but the space between pews is narrow, and the backs are hard. Turning to look at the preacher while he speaks still aggravates my neck, too.

I've stopped using the TEN's until I can talk to the Physical Therapist. They told me not to put it anywhere near my heart, which makes perfect sense. But there have been several times when I would get what felt like a pulsing muscle pull where my heart is in front, when I have the electrodes near the bottom of my shoulder blade. That would put the electricity near the back side of my heart as near as I can figure. So, I'm doing without it for now.

The cervical collar and the exercises seem to be helping, at least.

I have noticed several times in the last few days that I had had a painful burning sensation at different places on my feet. When I grab the place and rub it out, the place goes numb for a little while. I'm guessing that the PD meds have been blocking some of the Peripheral Neuropathy pain that is common with that problem.

I'm in the process of checking out a new laptop I bought this weekend. It was an open box item, so I only have 14 days to be sure there is nothing wrong with it. Plus, it came from a big chain store who had put all kinds of software on it advertising their company. It even had a user with a password they hadn't bothered to tell me about. I got around that by reinstalling the original disks. But now, I'm still uninstalling all that junk the computer manufacturer lets various software companies fill the computer with.

Most people probably pay the store to get the computer ready to use, but I enjoy the challenge. Fiddling with computers has always been enjoyable to me, but the most pleasure these days comes from the absolutely wonderful feeling hubby and I both get when we can help one of the families who have told their story on our Plush Memories Lost Toy Search Service blog find a lost lovey. And, to do that, I have to have a computer. So, to get the best thing - helping people - I get to do the next best thing - working on my computer.

So, I continue to watch how my body is behaving, and working on the computer, too.

Week One of my Experiment

OK folks, I've been off of all my Parkinson's meds for exactly a week now. I am definitely having more facial tics, but not enough to be the sole reason that I would go back on the meds. Walking is perhaps a little slower and more labored, but nothing like it was back when I was originally diagnosed. So, it remains to be seen just how much this changes this next week. My hand and legs tremors are more pronounced, but again not to a point that I feel compelled to go back on the meds.

And why, you may ask, am I doing this to myself? I am a scientist by nature, with a lifetime of dealing with challenges by using the scientific method. That means isolating the cause and effect relationship by changing only one thing at a time, and using a control as a comparison point. Obviously I can't do this experiment with all the steps in place, but I can try.

It would be so much easier if I had some way to accurately quantify the amount of Bradykinesia (slow movement), tics (involuntary facial muscle twitches), and tremors I have, with their locations, but this is all, by its very nature, subjective.

I'll continue with my experiment on me for a while longer, but I will try to live each day to the fullest, too, and not make this diagnosis all I am about.

So today we went on our Date Day as usual, and I had a wonderful time with my hubby. We just enjoy being in each other's company. I know we are in the house together for days at a time, but he's doing his thing and I'm doing mine. On Fridays, we spend the day together - really together.

Pinched Nerve in Neck is the Culprit

I went back to the Orthopedist yesterday for the follow up on the Physical Therapy I've been getting. He says I have a pinched nerved on the left side from a bulging disk. It's all part of the Degenerative Disk Disease problem I have with several different cervical and lumbar vertebrae. Anyway, since I cannot have epidurals, he is making arrangements for me to see a Physiatrist at the Lakeshore Rehab Facility. This place is a Paralympics training facility and very highly thought of. It will take several weeks before I even get the appointment, as the doctor evaluates all the info my Ortho sends him, before he decides IF he will see me or not! Talk about a busy doctor!!! So, it's hard to say who I will see first, the Physiatrist, or the MDS at UAB. Either way, I'll be getting help from some extremely well thought of doctors, and for that I am very grateful.

In the meantime, he gave me a prescription for the Home TEN's, which my PT facility can fill tomorrow. And he also sent me home with an inflatable cervical collar that provides traction. It's not at all comfortable, as I have a very short neck. Even the small size seems too big to me. I'm to take it to PT tomorrow, so they can help me learn how to use it correctly. Then maybe it won't be so uncomfortable. The directions say to inflate it for 10 or 15 seconds, deflate, then inflate again, for the first week, leaving it on for no more than about 15 minutes. Then I gradually work up to a steady 15 minute session with it.

The PT also told me the other day to make the neck exercises a consistent part of my daily routine, whether they seemed to be helping or not. He said it could be months before I really saw improvement, but to continue indefinitely with the routine they gave me. They're easy enough to do, so it's just getting it to be part of my day's routine that remains to be accomplished.

So, another piece of the puzzle has been explained, and now I wait to see the Physiatrist for an evaluation, as well as the MDS at UAB. Looks like this is going to be an interesting year, and I choose to believe it will be a year where I get help with my pain, stiffness, and walking problems. Who knows, maybe I'll even stop shaking!

Odd Physical Therapy Today

I went to PT this morning, and they did start me on some exercises, all for my arms. The first few were fairly easy, but then she had me pushing down with what seemed like more resistance than the others were set for. I stopped at the first set of ten on that one, instead of doing two sets of ten the way I had done all the others.

Then I moved to the pulley rope, which I've done before with other therapy, and it's always fairly easy, unless you just can't raise your arms. I had no trouble with that at all. Problems came when I stood up from that one, though.

I woke up this morning trembling more than usual, and getting into the cold car this morning just made it worse. And then I did all this new exercising on top of that. I guess everything just worked together to bring major big time tremors in my legs and arms, all at the same time. I was frozen in place, unable to move, because I was just not in control at the moment. The Aide immediately pulled a chair over for me, and I didn't do any more exercises. They hovered over me for awhile, with me assuring them that I was OK, that it would ease off on its own, that there wasn't anything they could do, and I really was OK.

After I convinced them that I was not going to fall, they moved me to the room where they do the ultrasound and heat therapy with the TENS machine, and everything went as usual. About half way through all that, the tremors settled down to just the usual quiver in my right arm and leg.

The only thing I can think of is that using the machine that was apparently set with too much resistance for me to handle just used up the dopamine I had available for a little while. It will be interesting to see if I can find anything to agree or disagree with my hypothesis.

It's been a shaky afternoon, and I just gave in to my chocolate craving - that's my way to deal with stress, as any chocoholic will tell you. And my neck is sore, but not painful, from the exercise. But at least I'm walking around about like usual - maybe a little shakier, but not much.

She told me I have 3 more visits before I have to see the Orthopedist again, so I need to make that appointment. I should have done it today, but I'm in one of those procrastinating moods today, and I just didn't feel like doing it. These moods don't make any sense, but I get into them every once in awhile. Things that happen like this morning seem to bring this apathy on, like everything is just too much trouble. It's stupid, I know, but it's just the way I get at times. I'll snap out of it, just as the shakes finally stopped. Just takes a little time.

Tomorrow is Date Day, and it will be a better day. I'm sure of it!

Tummy's Back to Normal - PT Continues

It took a couple of days of very careful, limited eating, to get my tummy back to a normal situation, but I'm much better now. I've gone back to using the glycerin suppositories, and that's helping the most, other than to avoid some questionable foods.

I talked to my PT Monday, and told her my neck was much better, and that I was surprised they had not had me doing any exercises. She said they wanted to get my muscles calmed down first. So, she is going to add some tomorrow. I told her I wanted to be stingy with my visits, in case I needed to come for something else later on in the year, so she has me on Monday and Thursday now, instead of 3 days a week. Of course, that frees up our Date Day, and that suits me just fine.

I've been extremely busy trying to help all the families who have been asking for help find lost lovies, ever since the msnbc.com article came out about our Plush Memories Lost Toy Search Service. We had well over a thousand hits that first day, and our traffic is still about double what it was before the article.

I'm fighting the poison ivy again, and I'm not sure which one of us is winning right now. I have found that I can take one Benadryl at night, and that stops the itching until in the afternoon. Then I take a non drowsy type that the pharmacist said I could use. It doesn't work all that well, and by early evening I'm in misery. It gets in my blood stream or something, because I end up with rash and blisters in places that it should not be. Very delicate skin itches ten times more than arm or leg skin, I guarantee it!!!

I see the Dermatologist in another couple of weeks, so I will certainly ask him about anything I can do to dry it up quickly.

I think I know where the poison ivy is coming from. We've been bringing our outside cats in at night when the weather is below freezing. I am pretty sure I'm catching it from them. We had the brother and sister kitties neutered last week, and the little girl is somewhat frail, so we did not want to take any chances with the cold. The only other possibility is that the wood chips I'm using for the compost have the vines ground up in with it. Our back yard is just full of poison ivy, so that's certainly possible.

I'm continuing to limit my reading of anything Parkinson's related, but nothing has changed as far as my foot tremors and facial tics go. Oh, and I still haven't started back using the TAP. I decided to get my neck calmed down, plus see if the mouth tic was related to maybe my tongue moving around on the inside of the mouthpiece in my sleep, and it getting to be a habit. Well, the neck is calming down nicely, but the mouth tic is still there. So I think I can stop blaming the TAP for that.

Since I've been taking the Benadryl at night, I'm sleeping quite well, even without the TAP. Funny, the Benadryl is working much better than all the fancy sleep meds ever did, and I've tried almost every prescription they make at one time or another.

Physical Therapy Continues

I've been to a couple of PT sessions now, but all they have done so far is do the ultrasound and the TENS. My neck still gets very painful, if I have to sit for any length of time unsupported, such as at meals and at church, but already it is more flexible than it was. I see them today, Wednesday, and Friday. We went out last Friday for our Date Day after I finished the session, so I guess that's the way we will do it for awhile.

I goofed on my medicines last week and put the Sinemet and Lodosyn in the boxes, as usual. That's what my Neurologist told me to stop taking, and I forgot! No harm, really. But I made a big time bad mistake when I filled them this time. I put 4 diuretic pills in, where it should have been the colon relaxer pills!! I didn't catch it until that night, when I take the last Bentyl by itself. That's when I realized it was the wrong color pill. Makes me so mad at myself when I mess up like that. I'm just thankful I didn't get into trouble with all that diuretic in me!!!

I started this post on Monday, but the interview I did last week about our Plush Memories Lost Toy Search Service was included in an msnbc.com article that published yesterday. So, I spent most of the day reading requests from families who are looking for lost lovies, and writing everyone to tell them about being featured in the article. I was on cloud nine all day long. We were able to connect two of our searchers with families who had the toy they needed, and were willing to give or sell it to them.

I got mixed up on the timing for my meds again, but not too badly this time. It's just aggravating that it happens at all. I think it's a Freud thing going on - I'm just sick and tired of all these meds, no matter how much I know I need them.

I'm tired today, too, because I stopped using the TAP for a few days, thinking that would help my neck to settle down. Of course that also means I'm not sleeping as many hours. I figure do without it one week, and if that is going to help, that would be long enough to see a difference. I will use the TAP again this weekend, or maybe next Monday, one way or the other.

The excitement of yesterday has calmed down now, but I am trying to stay upbeat, hurting neck or not.

First Physical Therapy Session

I went back to the same PT I have used before, and I was fortunate enough to get the same therapist. She asked lots of questions about what brought on the stiff and painful neck. She manipulated my head, and we chatted a bit about how my diagnosis got undiagnosed. I gave her the link to Patients Like Me, and I hope she takes me up on the invitation to join.

She seems to think that the electrical stimulation (TENS) and ultrasound will help these muscles relax, and she expects to do some stretching exercises on Friday. Bless her heart, but she remembered that Friday was our Date Day, and apologized for messing it up. But DH will be fine with that, as this is only for a few weeks.

We did something this afternoon we have never done before. I made a smoothie! Hubby bought me a blender for Christmas, because I had said something about wanting to try some. I mixed a banana, raw spinach, a little parsley, some soy milk, and a touch of honey, and we both tried it. It wasn't half bad, and we both drank it all. Not bad at all for my first attempt.

It always makes me feel better when I feel like I am taking control of a situation, and getting the PT started and learning a way to improve our nutrition is a good start for one day. Yippeeee!

Less Computer Time = Getting other things done!

Well, I have pretty much stuck to my intention to stay away from places where PWP are describing their symptoms. I have visited the PLM site a few times, and even made a few comments, but I have been cautious about the type of posts I opened, to avoid reading about anything tremor related. I have not done any research on PD, either, other than to try to find a correlation between heavy steroid use with Parkinson's. This was not for my benefit, but for one of my readers, who asked some interesting questions.

My neck continues to be very stiff and painful, but I can put up with it, knowing I will be getting help next week when I start Physical Therapy.

I am pretty much caught up with posting requests for help on the Plush Memories Lost Toys Search Service, and we are over the Christmas rush on eBay. I still need to put a new post on our Yesterday's Memories blog, and there is always work to do on the BLOG VILLAGE TopList that I run.

So, I have been getting some much needed house clutter cleaning done, but there is plenty more that needs to be done. I would like to have the house straight for the New Year. At least it can start that way LOL.

We did have a great Christmas, seeing all of our family all at once, and enjoying being with our grandchildren. It looks like we actually managed to buy them some things they will enjoy, and that's not easy to do when they hit those preteen and teen years. They all have birthdays right after Christmas, so we will be seeing them again real soon, too.

Hubby gave me a blender for Christmas, so now I can learn how to make Raw Foods Smoothies, something I have been wanting to try for some time now. Jackie, from The Vegan Diet, clued me into The Raw Food Coach, and since we eat a lot of raw foods, anyway, I have been learning as much as I can about what foods are the best for me. I have been doing a lot of research on the high anti-oxidant Super Foods, and we are gradually changing our diet to include lots of them daily.

We have had a lot of fun at our house of late with trying to get our very spoiled (neurotic) inside cat to accept our two outside cats as occasional inside visitors. They are too young to leave outside all night when it is freezing, so we bought a pet cage for them. They don't mind being in it at all, which surprised us, but it sure makes going out of town easier. We keep our inside cat in the hall bathroom when we are gone, and now we can keep the outside cats protected, too. Our only problem is that Miss Queen Fluffy doesn't like having them inside. There have been quite a few fights between Fluffy and Mr. Salt. Miss Pepper stays out of the rough stuff, as she has some kind of nerve damage to one of her hind legs. She is the main reason we decided to bring them in on cold nights and when we are out of town. Fluffy surprised us last night and behaved the whole time they were in the house. Maybe she's finally adjusting to them, I hope.

One of my anonymous readers has given me a clue as to what my diagnosis might be, if it's not Parkinson's. So, I have started doing some research on Dystonia. Also, there was a new post today on PLM discussing Ataxia, and that sounds familiar, too. I already feel better, knowing that there are other conditions that my symptoms seem to fit. It makes me feel less like this is all going to turn out to be psychosomatic. I can't bear the thought that my body has been going through all this due to an emotional problem. With other possibilities in sight, I am in a much better frame of mind than I was yesterday, thank goodness. So, Marion, the glass is looking more and more like it's half full, again.

As always, I appreciate your prayers and concern, and love to hear from you, even if it's just to say HI!

Back on the PD Meds

I considered not going back on the meds, but we will be out of town for Christmas, and it didn't seem prudent to have even a slight possibility of ending up in a strange ER. So I stuck with the original plan, and went back on the full PD regimin yesterday afternoon.

It was very interesting to see what my right foot did last night when I got ready to go to sleep in my recliner. It must mean something, and I wish I had a video of it to show my doctors.

The toes and ball of my foot cramp sometimes very painfully, and no amount of pressure will make it stop. Hubby will get up and stand in front of my recliner, and I will push my foot into his thigh, which normally stops the cramp pretty well. But last night, each time he released the pressure, the cramp started again. At one point, when I thought it had quit, I moved my leg away from the pressure, and my foot went into this exaggerated flopping back and forth, up and down, and sideways. I had no control over it at all. It didn't hurt, and it looked so funny that I started laughing. Hubby thought I was doing it on purpose, and was surprised when I told him I wasn't. You should have seen the look on his face. Then, in an attempt to stop it, I pressed my foot into the recliner. At that point, my knee started bobbing up and down, as if to say, "You can't stop ME!" It was so funny that both of us ended up having a great big laugh out of it all. And then, just as suddenly as it had started - it stopped all on its own.

So again, I ask myself - if not Parkinson's - then what in the world could make my body act like that????? The only explanation that makes any sense to me is that this is all psychosomatic, and there is nothing really wrong with me at all. No, I don't think I am going crazy, but the mind can play terrible tricks on the body. Just think about the Stigmata - that someone's palms could bleed. I know there is such a thing as hysterical paralysis, so I don't put anything past what my mind could be doing to control my body. Yes, I spent the last 10 years or so under great stress, taking care of parents and our older daughter. And, our daughter was hospitalized with, of all things, Peripheral Neuropathy! Not that my symptoms look like she did, but it does seem odd that I would be diagnosed with a neurological disorder not too many months after taking care of her.

I've had this conversation with myself before, about this whole thing possibly being psychosomatic, way back in August of 2006. And here I am, a year and a half later, still wondering.

Two Ruptured Cervical Disks - No Wonder I'm Hurting!

I talked with my Orthopedist's PA the other day, and she confirmed what I already knew. The disks are bulging on the two cervical vertebrae that are degenerating, and that's what is causing the pain and stiffness. She doesn't want to make an anesthesiologist appointment to get an epidural there until I have a chance to talk to my Neurologist. I see him Wednesday. I did ask that she talk to my Neuro's nurse, rather than expect me to relay messages. It seems that the ER did not send any information to him about my time in the ER in September, when I had the horrible drug interaction with a steroid shot. So his nurse was completely surprised to hear I had a bad reaction.

So, we'll be going to the hospital to sign the release form to get the records to take to my Neuro.

I continue to be concerned and in prayer for several Parkie buddies on the PatientsLikeMe site, who have been diagnosed with skin cancers. One has Melanoma, and the other has Squamous Cell Cancer. Both were caught early, with every reason to believe they will be just fine. We are all praying for their recovery.

There is another woman on there who's brother also has PD, who had unrelated surgery, and to quote her - "his brain is mush." She said he has already tried to leave the hospital. When I thought I was going to have to have surgery back a few months ago, I learned all kinds of scary things about how difficult it is for PWP to have any kind of anesthesia without serious side effects. Also, it is very difficult to get hospitals to keep the PD meds coming on time. And that can mean the difference between being mobile and thinking normally, and not.

I wore my new "Sunday" shoes today, and I really like them. They help with my balance, they feel good on, and they are unobtrusive. I doubt if anyone has even noticed that I'm not wearing dress shoes. I don't feel the least bit self conscious in them, so if someone has noticed them - I don't care.

I am having one problem, though, that came unexpectedly. Last night I noticed a red itchy place on my wrist where the back of the Timex watch is against my skin. I had noticed that the skin was getting slick and shiny there a couple of weeks ago, so I started taking it off at night to go to sleep. Evidently I didn't heed the warning in time, as I now have a nice round ringworm there. It's been holding too much moisture against my skin, as it is fairly tight. It's a big man size watch, and not particularly comfortable, but I was willing to tolerate it, because it is so helpful. I may end up taking the band off, and just keeping it in my pocket.

I have not been able to do much exercising for the last month, partly because of my neck, but mostly because my DH over did it and his Sciatica is acting up again. I've been so busy working on the requests on our Plush Memories blog that I have been sitting still more than I probably should be. I've not been doing the Tai Chi, either. I know I really need to get back with a scheduled exercise program, the way I was before.

So, some things improve, while other new aggravations begin. Not so different than what happens to everyone, right?

Sitting MRI and a Full Night's Sleep

Well, I had my Standing MRI on my neck yesterday. I was having some strong tremors when I got there, so the technician changed it to a Sitting MRI! LOL!! He also put a lightly restraining halo on my head, and I managed to stay still through the whole 30 minutes. He said I did just fine.

Of course I won't find out anything until next week probably. I'm guessing that he will prescribe Physical Therapy again, particularly since I had such a terrible reaction to the Celestone steroid shot for my poison ivy. It depends on just how much damage he sees, I guess.

I have my Neurologist appointment next week, so I will be talking to him about how I should proceed. He may have me stop taking the Zelepar, as that seems to be the med that gives me the most interaction warnings. It does not play well with others!

I have an appointment with my Sleep Apnea Specialist next week, too. He should be dismissing me, hopefully. I am sleeping a full 8 hours almost every night now. And it has made a miraculous difference in my daytime sleeping. Actually, I'm not having ANY daytime sleeping problems, now. I can ride in the car for hours now, and still carry on a conversation with my DH. It's been years since I could do that. No more jerking awake at the computer from a few seconds of sound sleep out of nowhere. And, I am still on the Requip that gets blamed for this side effect. It wasn't the medicine after all for me. I was just sleep deprived!

It's so gratifying to see improvement even in one area of my health. And I have high hopes that Dr. J will fix the pain and stiffness in my neck.

Neck Pain and Tremors Causing Problems

I'm having two main problems from the Parkinson's right now - my very stiff and painful neck, and the much increased tremors, particularly in my right foot.

I'm sleeping with a very soft neck pillow, the kind that look like a C, and I keep it behind my neck while I sit at the computer, too. That helps me get to sleep and cuts down on the pain of just holding my head up. As the day goes on, the pain is getting worse and worse.

I am waiting to hear from my Orthopedist now about a standing MRI appointment. Hubby has Jury Duty next week, so that means I will have to wait longer to get it done. Can't be helped, but it's frustrating. He had to ask for a deferral back when we were taking care of Daddy, so he can't very well ask for another one because he is taking care of me. There is absolutely no way I could drive myself to the big city, as long as it's been since I've driven at all, even though I am no longer having the sudden sleep attacks. Maybe, if he is lucky, he won't have to serve for long, and I can get it done toward the end of this week. I sure hope so. The Methacarbamol and Mobic aren't helping enough to warrant taking the pills, so I quit taking them.

I've tried to continue with as much exercise as possible, but DH hurt his back again several weeks ago, and his sciatic nerve is acting up. He hasn't felt like going to the track, so I haven't been getting enough exercise lately. I am still working out in the yard the best I can, but it makes my neck hurt worse.

I'm also having considerably more problems due to tremors. For the first year of PD I didn't have any tremors at all. I was beginning to have small ones on Sundays mostly, while we were listening to the sermon. I finally decided that it was the uncomfortable pews, being too still too long, and being cold, all working together to stress my muscles. But that was a very mild nuisance tremor.

Since I had the steroid interaction that sent me to the ER, however, the tremor in my right leg and foot have been so strong that it makes walking and standing much more difficult. It still comes and goes, but when I get the least bit tired, as I do when I walk very much, that leg starts dancing a jig all on its own. I am having more problems with balance because of it, and I am beginning to experience what is called freezing. When I stand up, I have to kind of wait before I can get that pesky right foot to make up its mind to move where I want it to, it's so busy moving where it wants to.

One thing's for sure, I look like I have Parkinson's now, where I didn't until recently. Even my lips, tongue, and eyebrows are beginning to quiver. We had our portraits made the other day to give to our children for Christmas, and it was all I could do to hold the poses long enough to get a good picture. My face behaved, but not my leg. It took every bit of will power I had to make my leg be still. If I hold my breath and really concentrate, I can stop the tremors momentarily, thank goodness. I had to do that to get the X-rays on my neck done a couple of weeks ago, too.

So, things have been a little difficult lately, but I am still managing OK. I've been listing a lot on eBay, and we have had some good sales there. I've also been concentrating on trying to help as many people as I can on my Plush Memories blog. I've managed to find several lost lovies for people, and some of my blog readers there have found a few more. And, there have been a few times that we had the lovey they were looking for in stock, so I've made a few sales, and made some folks very happy all at the same time. That's what makes selling the plush toys so much fun.

We are still going to Estate Sales, but this time of year there usually aren't as many on a given Friday. That's OK, because I really can't manage more than a few anyway, as I tire out and hurt too much to go to very many. So, we have been doing a little bit of Estate Sale hunting and a little bit of Christmas shopping on Fridays. The only thing we absolutely have to go to stores for is all the Stocking Stuffer odds and ends that we give our children and grandchildren every year. And this year, we have been buying things for their stockings all year long, which is a blessing.

Thank goodness for Internet shopping! I've been buying most of our gifts online for years, but this year it has been a blessing. The black pair of Skechers came the other day, and I wore them to get our portraits made. They feel wonderful, and they do improve may stability much more than the Sunday shoes I have been wearing. Our daughters wear the same size shoes I do, so looks like they will be getting some hand me down shoes.

So, I keep going, making changes as I must.

I've Been Busy, Busy, Busy!!!

I've been so busy I hadn't even realized how long it had been since I posted here. This is our busy time of year for selling on eBay, so I've been spending a lot of time taking pictures, writing descriptions, and packing items to ship. Hubby helps a lot with the packing, and he goes to the PO with them, but the photography and anything computer related is up to me.

I also have been very busy on the Plush Memories blog, because so many people have written wanting help finding their child's lost lovey. It feels so good to actually help someone, and I have had some successes lately. But right now, I have something like 70 or so requests that I haven't posted yet. Every time I open my email, there are a few more requests. It's almost like being Santa, getting all the letters. But I'm not magic, and there are only so many hours in the day that I can give to it.

I am still sleeping a good 7 to 8 hours a night now. My alarm watch is waking me up at 5:00AM most mornings now. That's made a huge difference in how much energy I have, and I'm not even dropping off to sleep in the car like I had been. I haven't had the nerve to drive again, though. I have mentioned it to hubby, but he just doesn't answer me. Not so sure he thinks it's a good idea.

The elimination problems have improved slowly, and the Bentyl, prune juice, extra Metamucil, and the Glycolax are working. I bought a couple of books about IBS, and I'm trying to change some more of my eating habits, too. I had already made some huge changes over the last few years, thanks to the GERD. But now, my diet is even more restricted than ever. I eat the forbidden foods from time to time, like pizza, but I do it knowing that I can expect to have consequences. And I give in to the chocolate craving every once in awhile, as it's the best cure for being upset that I have ever found. Yes, I am addicted to chocolate!!

Wearing the Skechers shoes helped last Sunday, and I was not anywhere near as unstable in them as I have been in my regular Sunday shoes. They're not the kind of shoes anyone would normally wear with dress up clothes, but they are unobtrusive.

I'm to have a stand up MRI soon for my neck, as the pain and stiffness have not gone away at all. I'm waiting right now for my insurance to approve the test. The muscle relaxer and anti-inflammatory have not made a dent in my neck situation. The X-rays show the degenerated disks, and my Orthopedist knows about the problem I had with the Celestone. He said I may have to go off the Zelepar long enough to have the epidural in my cervical vertebrae. He said I would need to talk to the Anesthetist and work that out with him. Sounds fine to me!!!! If the epidural doesn't work, the only thing left would be some form of surgery, and that I will avoid as long as possible.

Hubby's sciatic nerve problem has flared up again, so he doesn't feel like going to the track to walk. So I've been getting most of my exercise by working in the yard. The Lasagna Compost is still growing, one pile of wood chips, fertilizer, kitchen scraps, and dirt at a time. It sure is tempting to turn the pile to see if it's working, but I have resisted the urge so far. I work in the yard several days a week for over an hour, so that's good.

So, I think I have more positives going on than negatives, and that means today is a good day!!!!

No Such Thing as Status Quo with Me

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day with our whole family. Our older daughter and her hubby both love to cook. So they went overboard with the food, but it was important to them, as their first big family meal in their new home. I could tell she was getting all stressed, which is not good for her at all, but I sure was glad I didn't have to have them all at my house. Don't get me wrong, I love being around all of them... but I get way too panicky at the thought of having that big a group all at once.

Plus now, my house is not clean enough for me to feel comfortable entertaining. I have started trying to unclutter some parts of the house, but it took it several years to get in this mess, and it's not going to be clean overnight. Hubby says to just ignore it .... something he seems to be able to do quite well. It bothers me, though. Every time I try to tackle it, I get worn out before I've made a dent! LOL

Anyway, I did have an appointment with my Gastroenterologist this week. I am still having lots of belching and gas, although the elimination difficulties have improved considerably since he put me on the Bentyl. I had read some things on the Internet that made me ask about the Metamucil and Glycolax, as far as were they contributing to the gas problem. I gave him the printout showing the times I was taking my meds, thinking he might see something that I needed to change. He was flabberghasted. He said he had no idea I was taking the Metamucil and Glycolax in the morning - that I should be taking them at night!

He also said the loud belches were from swallowing air. I told him I knew I did that when I took my meds with a big gulp, because I had trouble swallowing them. He suggested I take them in applesauce, instead of water. And .... it works! I do have a little trouble getting the swallow to come, though, thanks to my uncooperative tongue.

My tongue has started some kind of tic. I'm lip licking, or lip sucking, or moving my tongue around, rubbing against my teeth almost constantly now. I mentioned this new quirk in the PLM forum, and one of the Parkies said she had been rubbing the back of her dentures with her tongue for 14 years! She's actually worn a hole in the back side of two of her teeth!

Speaking of the TAP, I am continuing to get 7 1/2 to 8 hours of sleep each night. My alarm watch is waking me up now to start my meds at 5:00AM. If I could just stay awake later at night, I would change the time of the first meds. But it's all I can do most nights to stay awake until 9. I'm toying with the idea of taking a short afternoon nap, but I will wait awhile longer before I try that, to be sure I have the sleep habit well established.

I am out of the muscle relaxer meds now, but they really didn't help a whole lot to ease the soreness and stiffness in my neck. So I'll be calling my Orthopedist this next week.

I'm still having a lot more tremors than I had before my trip to the ER. The tremor in my right hand is unpredictable, but strikes often and hard. If I stand still for even a few moments, my right leg starts a little dance all by itself, making my whole body bounce, and sometimes now it starts up even when I am sitting down. That was only happening at church before, where I was blaming it on being cold and the seat being uncomfortable. Now it's pretty much a given that if I'm standing, I'm dancing, and if I'm the least bit tired or upset, I'm jiggling as I sit. And walking still feels like I'm on Jello. I'm using the cane all the time when we go somewhere now, except for church. I'm still stubbornly holding out on that, as it puts too much attention on me.

I am going to have to keep track of the times of the day that all these tremors start and stop, so I can tell if it has anything to do with my meds wearing off.

So today, I can give my sleep problems an A, elimination difficulties a B-, stiff and sore neck a D, and tremors a D.

My Pharmacist wears an S under his lab coat!!

Yep, as far as I'm concerned, he's Superman, ready at any moment to rescue this damsel from danger. I went to my Orthopedist today to get some relief from the painful neck spasms I've had for the last two weeks. He prescribed the muscle relaxer, Flexeril, which I have taken before, long before I was diagnosed with PD.

We dropped the prescription off on our way home, and DH went back to get it about an hour later. He came home with Methocarbamol, not Flexeril. Sure enough, I would have had a serious drug interaction with Flexeril and my PD meds. My pharmacist called the doctor and they found a muscle relaxant I could take, all before hubby ever got there to pick it up.

I think that makes three times in the last few months that my fantastic pharmacist has caught medicine errors that my doctors have made.

We live in a very small rural town, and we went without a pharmacist for quite a few years. When this one opened up shop, I told him the first time I went in there that he could depend on us to patronize his shop, even though we realized that we could buy cheaper at Wal-Mart or the chain store pharmacies. He's not open at night, or on Saturdays and Sundays, but I wouldn't trade him for anything. He more than pays for his higher prices with his service and the fact that we are close enough to walk to his store if we had to. The franchise pharmacies would require an almost hour round trip, which is no fun if you are miserable. Sure, there have been times when we had no choice but to patronize the big boys on the weekend or at night, but we try our best to give our local fellow as much business as we can.

I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again. Everyone should keep all their prescriptions medicines on file with one pharmacist, and make sure that pharmacist cares about you, and not just about making money!!

Insurance Has APPROVED My Dental Appliance!!

I knew I was having a good day yesterday! When we came home from our Date Day, I had a lovely letter waiting for me, stating that the TAP Dental Appliance has been approved by my insurance for the treatment of my Sleep Apnea. I immediately called them to find out how to get my money back, as I had to pay my dentist for it up front. They are sending me the forms to take care of this. Whooopiieeeee!! I had anticipated some trouble with them agreeing that it was eligible, so that's something else I can cross off my list.

My neck is still very uncomfortable, but I made myself work on the compost heap this morning. I can't afford to give in to it, or I'll find myself able to do less and less.

I actually slept until my first medicine alarm went off this morning at 5:00AM! EIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP!!! That's the first time that has happened. I'm still waking up quite a bit in the night, but unlike before, I am able to drift back to sleep, even after I've been up to use the bathroom.

We ate at on of our favorite Mexican restaurants yesterday for lunch, but I was a good girl and got the Huevos Rancheros, which is nothing but sunny side up eggs with sauce on top. I scrape the sauce over to the side, eat the Spanish rice and the eggs, and just taste the refried beans. I did get a side order of the guacamole, which I really enjoy and finished off a bunch of the tostados they bring. I did NOT have the woozy feeling after lunch. So I'm pretty sure it's not protein that sets it off. It may be fat, though. I've basically been avoiding eating beef or pork for lunch. Most of the week we had the fake crab meat in a spinach and cabbage salad, and that does not cause the funny feeling, either.

I'm still having real problems with tremors and walking is not as easy, as I have this constant feeling of walking on Jello, because my legs are shaking the whole time I am walking. I'm using the cane just about any time we leave the house now, except for church. I'm trying to hold off using it there, because I get asked too many questions about how I'm doing. It makes me self conscious. I have started taking a lap robe to church, though, as I have come to realize that I have the hard tremors in church because I'm cold! I'll be making an appointment with the Neurologist next week, now that I've been on the new meds for awhile and the apnea and tummy are well under control.

Our older daughter and her hubby are going to do the honors for Thanksgiving Dinner this year. They both love to cook, which I never did, and this is their first holiday in their new home. I've always been the one to have the Thanksgiving meal, but I'm very happy to pass this tradition along to her, and just help out with the expense. Hopefully our younger daughter and her family will be able to come, too. With me not having to do anything for dinner, I can really enjoy the day.

So, things continue to come to good conclusions, and I remain optimistic. May we all have a great day today!!

First Impressions of Last Night's Sleep Study

I spent the night at the Sleep Study's Research Center last night. The room was luxurious, and since I cannot sleep on a flat bed, I specifically requested the one room they have that has a Tempurpedic type mattress on an adjustable bed. I have been interested in this type of bed for several years, thinking I might be able to get back into the bedroom with hubby, if we had one of those King size adjustable beds with the split. That way I could set my side for a recliner like position, while hubby could sleep flat. It's been years since we have slept together, and I would love to be able to have that closeness again.

Well, to say the least, I was disappointed with the bed. I tossed and turned all night, trying to find a position that would not make my back spasm. I ended up sleeping in this hole where my bottom was. I had just as much trouble with back spasms all night long as I do on a flat bed or the hospital bed I slept on for the first Sleep Study. I am glad I had the opportunity to try out this type of mattress and bed, as they cost up in the 3 to 5 thousand dollar range. It would have been terrible to have spent all that money and not be able to sleep comfortably.

As for the Sleep Study itself, I used the TAP dental appliance set to the easy setting I've been using ever since my neck muscles started spasms. I was hopeful that this smaller amount of forward movement of my jaw would be sufficient to stop the apnea. From his preliminary review of last night's data, my Sleep Disorder Specialist was very encouraged that the TAP is working just fine for me. He also agreed with me that my daytime sleepiness is from the PD meds, not from any underlying medical issue. This is the best possible news for me. He also said he would be glad to help with the documentation to help me to get Blue Cross/Blue Shield to reimburse us for 80% of the $1000 we spent up front on the TAP.

So, with my sore back and scalp full of gooey glue, I am happy. I fought the good fight to get used to the CPAP masks, and failed. I kept adjusting the lower jaw advancement on the TAM, until I put my whole neck muscles into painful spasms. Then, because of the pain, I backed off by several turns of the key. And it paid off, as I have evidently been able to get the apnea controlled at a comfortable setting.

Today is a GOOD day!!

Just When I Start Sleeping Later ... THE TIME CHANGES!!

I can't win for losing! LOL!! I was finally putting together a string of days when I slept until close to 5:00AM, a real accomplishment for me, when the Daylight Savings Time changed on me this morning. So, I've been up since "3:30AM", even though my brain thinks I slept until 4:30AM. I am very pleased that I slept over 7 hours, but I know that I always have a hard time adjusting to these time changes. My appetite gets off schedule, and it has always taken me quite a while to adjust to the different sleep times. Plus, I have my Sleep Study this week. Not the best timing in the world, but it will have to do.

My neck is much better this morning, with pain and stiffness only when I try to turn almost all the way to the sides. I have been very careful with this spasm episode, trying to be very cautious with any stretches, trying to move just to the point of pain, but no further. I have not tried to advance the TAP screw any, since this spasm hit, but I am sleeping with the dental appliance every night.

I have reached an amount of extension of my lower jaw that makes it harder to get the pieces in my mouth. Now, I have to connect the two pieces before they go in my mouth, and then jut my lower jaw forward to meet the mouthpiece. Before, I could put the two halves in separately, and jut my jaw forward to hook them together. I can't unhook them in my mouth any more in the mornings, either. I have to break the seal with them still hooked together. That's not an easy thing to do, as they really fit tight. Of course, it's because they fit my teeth so perfectly that this contraption doesn't hurt, so I'm not complaining.

I exercise my jaws with the chewing pieces every morning while I'm on the computer, and don't even really have to think about it. It's about like chewing gum, really. Then, I also do a series of facial grimacing and stretching exercises for my Parkinson's, to delay the time when I will lose facial expression. The chewing strengthens my jaw, and should actually help delay the "Mask of Parkinson's".

I am in a better mood generally since I started taking the Bentyl, which is an antidepressant as well as an antispasmodic. I'm taking it to soothe my spastic colon, but I'll take any mood improvement I can get! I've managed to get started on several projects that I was previously just overwhelmed by, so that's a good thing. I even managed to put something new on eBay several days in a row, and posted some new requests for people searching for lost loveys on our Plush Memories blog. I'm still way behind on that, though. But I'm completely caught up on the BLOG VILLAGE membership screenings. The house is still chaotic, but that's nothing new. I never was a very good housekeeper, sad to say. I do love it when it's all uncluttered, but I never have been able to find the gumption to keep it that way. All in all, though, I can tell that I'm getting out of the doldrums I've been in for some time, and that's a very good sign!!

Still Having Problems, But I'm Sleeping Longer!

I have managed to "stay in bed" for over 7 hours now 4 nights in a row. I wish I could say that means I was asleep the whole time, but that hasn't happened yet. It is still a considerable improvement, however. The last pill I take at night is the Bentyl, which is supposed to calm my colon and prevent the spasms that have been plaguing me for so long. It is an antidepressant, so I suspect that may be at least part of the reason I've been able to delay getting up as well as I have been. I continue to wear the TAP each night, so maybe it's a combination of both of them. Whatever it is, I'm thankful for it.

I've spent the last three days trying to overcome the stiffest neck I've ever had in my life. It started Wednesday evening, out of nowhere. I could feel the neck muscles all tensed up, and it was impossible for me to turn either way more than a couple of degrees. I tried the hot pad, plus took some Tylenol, and hoped I would sleep it off. I also did not wear the TAP that night, thinking that might make it worse. It was still extremely tight and painful all day Thursday, but I did go back to wearing the TAP. Nothing seemed to make it go away. It was considerably better by Friday, although I did take some Arthritis Strength Tylenol to get to sleep. Now, I am able to turn my head both ways maybe 45 degrees each way before the pain stops me.

I'm not really sure where this spasm came from. I did work out in the yard Wednesday more than I have been, and I could have over done it there. Or, it could be that I have turned the TAP screw past what my jaw can handle. Just in case it was the TAP, I backed up several turns on it to give my jaw muscles a rest.

I did get my flu shot this week, with no side effects at all. And I made sure the nurse put the information in my records about Celestone causing me to have such a horrible Parkinson's episode. I have not yet returned to the state I was in before the steroid shot, so I guess I won't be getting back to that point. It's been too long now. If I were going to recover completely, I would have by now.

I am still having those weird spaced out episodes after lunch mostly. I've tried eating meat, not eating meat, staying away from any protein, eating normally, eating things I'm not supposed to eat, like pizza, and eating very carefully selected IBS foods. Nothing seems to be an obvious trigger, so I'm left to think it is the medicine itself doing it. That would be the noon dose of Levadopa/Carbidopa (Sinemet). I'm not sure why I have more trouble with the noon dose, as I take this med with all three meals. It remains a puzzle.

I've been working hard on several computer projects lately, so I'm behind on listing items on eBay. I have got to get that done today, though, as we are being squished by all the bags of plush toys packed into our two spare bedrooms. LOL We buy them faster than I can sell them!!

So, I guess it's time to quit blogging, and start taking some photos!!