Sunday Shoes Are a Problem

I've been casually looking for some type of decent looking flat shoe that would give me more support than the ones I've been wearing on Sundays. Yesterday convinced me that I must make this a top priority this week. My best pair of decent looking shoes is a Dr. Scholl's pair that have a Velcro closure across the top. They fit quite snug to begin with, but the longer I wear them, the suede leather begins to relax, and I get less and less support from them. For just church, I can barely manage, but yesterday, due to a funeral home visitation that we attended (that means lots of standing around talking to people), I was in them a good part of the day. By the time we got home, I was so wobbly that I could barely take a step safely, even with the cane. As soon as I got in the house, I changed into my athletic shoes, and you would have thought I was a different person. My gait was immediately more normal.

So, this week I will be buying some kind of walking shoe that I can tolerate for "dress" shoes. I'm thinking a black pair won't call too much attention to my feet, hopefully. I do wear pant suits to church, so it won't look quite as bad as it would have with a dress or skirt. I started wearing pants to church when the short short skirt length came in style, and I just never went back to skirts. Too comfy, I guess, or me being lazy?

I tried on some Vegan Earth Shoes last week, thinking that might be a way to get a comfortable shoe that would support me, and not have the hard leather to bother my toes. But that's not going to work for me. Earth Shoes have what's called a negative heel. The heel is lower than the toes. Sounds odd, but it's perfect for PWP, as we tend to lean forward as we walk, and these negative heels counteract that. My problem is that I had to have most of the toe nail root on my big toes killed off with Laser some years ago, due to chronic fungus and ingrown toe nail problems. That means my big toes are basically unprotected. The slant of the Earth Shoes makes the big toes push up against the toe box, and I can't take that.

I ran into the same problem when I bought my athletic shoes. There are only a few brands that make a big enough toe box for my toes to be comfortable in them. So now, I've got to find a dark color walking shoe among the few brands that I can wear comfortably. Just what I wanted to be doing during Christmas Shopping crowds. Hopefully, my fingers can do the walking. I'll call the athletic shoe stores today that I have bought Asics and Ryka from before, to see if they have dark shoes in my size.

If I'm lucky enough for them to have something I can wear, we'll go to town today. While we're out, we'll probably try to do some of our Stocking Stuffer buying. This is the most fun part of Christmas gift giving for us. Our children get money, and now the grandkids are old enough to want money more than presents, so it's the stockings that get all of the attention on Christmas. We buy odds and ends all year round, as we see something that fits each one's personality and tastes. But filling up those big socks takes some creative off the wall stuff, to keep from duplicating what we have bought them in the past. Even our grown children and their spouses would be disappointed if they didn't have that lumpy stocking to reach into, pulling out one thing at a time, never knowing what sort of gag gift or useful doodad might be at hand.

I will think positively today, and look forward to finding some suitable shoes, plus enjoy shopping for the Stocking Stuffers.

The Day After PT - and I'm OK

I'm thankful to be able to say that today I have not been all stove up the way I was last week. The Physical Therapist cut back on the severity and number of repetitions this week, so I'm only mildly sore today. I did make a point of asking her if she thought I should be asking the doctor for a blue parking sticker, and she agreed that I should. I won't need it all the time, but for some places, like the Galleria, which is a huge multi-story mall, I'll definitely be taking the walker, and I'll need to be near the door.

We ate at an old Krystal's yesterday, and I guess that's the first time we've been in one in over 20 years! Luckily, I was having a good day, because the bathroom doors were not much over 20 inches wide! The sink was not much bigger than the size of a sheet of paper! It really looked like what I would imagine an airplane bathroom might look like, and definitely reminds me of the bathrooms on trains as I remember them from my childhood. So, when we got home, I found the Krystal website and complained. I had an answer from the Birmingham District Supervisor by this afternoon. It was pretty much a form letter, but it did have his phone number, etc., so I figured I'd call in a month or so and see if anything is going to be done to make those bathrooms handicap accessible.

We've been consciously advocating for better handicap facilities in businesses we go to for years now, never thinking that someday one of us would be needing them. Now, I'm super conscious, and very glad that I've been doing my part to make managers aware of what needed to be done.

I've Lost Christmas!

Ya know how sometimes it's too warm when you should be Christmas shopping, and it's just hard to get in the mood? Well, something like that has happened to me this year. First, we have had shirt sleeve weather, which doesn't help the situation any, but that's not really the problem. It just doesn't feel like Christmas to me this year.

We're not going to see either of our daughters or their families this weekend. We didn't decorate our house, because we haven't been there enough to do it, nor to see it if we had. We put a tiny tree up in Daddy's living room, but that's it. Our only Christmas shopping was over the internet, so we haven't been in any of the crowds, nor had the fun of looking for all the little stocking stuffer unique oddities that our grown kids and grandkids look forward to. I've even missed all the Christmas programs at church.

Oh, we've had the songs on the radio, but they start that way too early, so it loses its effect. My Sunday School Class did come by here on the way to their Christmas party and sing Christmas carols to Daddy. That was about as close to feeling like it really was Christmas as I have felt. In the vacuum of taking care of Daddy and trying to take care of myself, it just doesn't feel magical this year. And that's very depressing. There, I've said it out loud. Yes, I am depressed this Christmas, a feeling I have never experienced before on such a joyous holiday.

I never meant, when I started this blog, for it to turn into a place to wallow in self pity, but it sure seems more and more that's all I'm doing. I guess I could make excuses and call it therapeutic LOL. All I wanted to do was keep a running record of what it was like from day to day, for my own sake, and possibly to benefit someone else going through similar experiences with Parkinson's.

I was also hoping that by posting regularly, my keywords would attract other PWP through the Search Engines, and I could enjoy some conversations with other people going through the same things I am. That hasn't happened, either. Maybe it will in time, but right now the Page Rank of this blog is still zero. It's hard to move up through the Google ranks, and it takes time and patience.

So we take one day at a time, each one feeling pretty much like the day before, expecting the next to feel pretty much like today. It's a care giving rut that leaves no end in sight, because only God knows the outcome of all this. All we can do is our best from moment to moment.

I Shopped at Wal-Mart Today!

I'm very pleased with myself today. I used my newfangled four-wheeled walker and was able to walk around for over 30 minutes without wearing totally out! I found a pair of shoes for Sunday that should give me more support than the ones I've been wearing, so I had to find a cart no one was using, in order to get back to checkout in the front of the store. I see why people put baskets on walkers now. Anyway, I put the walker in the cart and pushed it all up front. It's nowhere near as easy to walk holding onto a cart as it is to walk using the walker for support.

I used to do Tai Chi every morning before DH got up. I learned a short form that wasn't too fancy, but it was a good beginner workout. I've tried a couple of times, since my legs have been acting so weird, to see if I could still do any of the movements. It was pitiful. I couldn't even get started. So I tried again this morning. I still can't do it correctly, but if I slide my foot, instead of picking it up, I can go through a few of the first few positions. It's better than nothing, and I'll be trying it again in a few days.