The Day After PT - and I'm OK

I'm thankful to be able to say that today I have not been all stove up the way I was last week. The Physical Therapist cut back on the severity and number of repetitions this week, so I'm only mildly sore today. I did make a point of asking her if she thought I should be asking the doctor for a blue parking sticker, and she agreed that I should. I won't need it all the time, but for some places, like the Galleria, which is a huge multi-story mall, I'll definitely be taking the walker, and I'll need to be near the door.

We ate at an old Krystal's yesterday, and I guess that's the first time we've been in one in over 20 years! Luckily, I was having a good day, because the bathroom doors were not much over 20 inches wide! The sink was not much bigger than the size of a sheet of paper! It really looked like what I would imagine an airplane bathroom might look like, and definitely reminds me of the bathrooms on trains as I remember them from my childhood. So, when we got home, I found the Krystal website and complained. I had an answer from the Birmingham District Supervisor by this afternoon. It was pretty much a form letter, but it did have his phone number, etc., so I figured I'd call in a month or so and see if anything is going to be done to make those bathrooms handicap accessible.

We've been consciously advocating for better handicap facilities in businesses we go to for years now, never thinking that someday one of us would be needing them. Now, I'm super conscious, and very glad that I've been doing my part to make managers aware of what needed to be done.

Peripheral Neuropathy Rears Its Ugly Head

I went to the Physical Therapist this morning for evaluation of my knee and shoulder problems. The news was not good. It seems that I have significant weakness in my right leg and hip muscles, and also in my left hip muscles. My hand strength was markedly less in the right hand than the left, but that didn't surprise me.

She said it was no wonder I was having trouble with my knee, or with walking, as my muscles were so very weak. She does not want me to walk so far at the track, but to concentrate on walking with full use of my hip muscles. I had already realized that I wasn't doing that. When I do take a full stride from the hip I feel like I'm drunk, with a wobbly unsteady sensation. I don't know any other way to describe it, and I look drunk, too. She wants me to use my cane on a regular basis, because she doesn't want me to reinforce my unnatural gait. I'm to see her two more times this week, plus she's given me a set of exercises to do here at home.

She thinks the knee is so irritated because the muscles that should be providing support just aren't doing their job well at all. And she said the same thing about both hips. So, I'm going to be busy trying to build up what I can, before I end up on the floor LOL!!

I also had an ultrasound treatment on my knee and an electrical stimulation treatment on the shoulder and the knee, with moist heat, too. That felt wonderful, and it's supposed to improve and speed up the healing process.

The PT is a very nice lady, and I felt comfortable with her immediately. It's just as well, as it sounds like I'm going to be going there for awhile. Of course, insurance has a lot to do with how many sessions they'll let me have, so I need to learn as much as I can about how to do the exercises at home.

Blazing Around the Track!

We've been walking pretty regularly around the park track for several weeks now, with a few days off due to the raw cold, and I've seen a good bit of improvement. I started out using the walker, and was really depending on it. We were lucky enough some time ago to find a good buy at an Estate Sale for the kind that has four large wheels and a padded seat. It's really a Cadillac, as it has all kinds of pockets and sections, plus a large storage bin under the seat. The only drawback is that it takes up a good bit of room in the car, even folded up. But it's been perfect for the track. I don't have to worry about getting stranded on the far side, as I can stop and sit any time I need to. Actually, I haven't sat down yet, but knowing I could makes me push myself further than I would otherwise.

When we started, I was doing good to get around twice, with the walker. Now I'm making two rounds without the walker and two more with it, for a whole mile. Of course, I'm slow, but I definitely see progress! DH is walking with me, and he's up to 6 laps in the time it takes me to do 4.

I haven't heard from the Physical Therapy place yet, so I'll have to call the Orthopedist's office to get the ball rolling on that.

I spent a very upsetting hour or so trying to talk to Medicare about the charges they denied when Daddy went to the hospital. It's standard procedure for Medicare to deny any and all claims if the date of service overlaps the date of Hospice service. Each one has to be reapplied for, with a statement of Denial from the Hospice, proving the charge was unrelated to what he was on Hospice for. So the Medicare person was no help at all. I did, however, get somewhere with the Billing Clerk from the Radiologist who didn't get paid.

Lots to Do Settling Daddy's Estate

This is the second time I've been the executor of an estate, but Daddy's is much more involved than Pop's was. Luckily, we have a niece who is a lawyer, so I'll have some help when I'm ready. I've tried researching what I need to do on the Internet, and I've been surprised at how little help I could find. Everything seems to be geared toward Estate Planning, rather than settling an estate.

April 15th is getting closer, too, and I've just not been up to dealing with important numbers. I did get a good start today, though. Starting is half the battle for me, as I find I've become quite the procrastinator in the last few years. I don't know if that's a sign of old age LOL, stress, or Parkinson's!

We walked again this morning, but I was slow as mud. I made it around for a half mile, using the walker. I've been using the walker all this week, but I depended on it more today, as I could feel the tightness in my shoulders when I stopped. That slow as mud feeling is the first Parkinson's symptom I had, so it's looking less and less like I'll be able to continue on just the Zelepar. The Neurologist told me I could go back on the Requip as well, if I felt like I had to. I've resisted, because the Requip gave me stomach troubles last time. Well, I had stomach trouble when I was on the Requip - that doesn't automatically mean the Requip was causing it. It's that uncertainty that has kept me trying to do without it. I'm just not ready to cope with stomach side effects yet. Maybe next week.

I taught 4th and 5th graders for 25 years, but I've seen the "Smarter than a Fifth Grader" TV show a couple of times since I've been back home. It's scary how much my mind goes blank on stuff I know I should know. I hope it's just remnants of caregiver burnout, and not the PD effecting my mental abilities. Stress can really do a number on such tasks, so I'm trying really hard to relax as much as I can. But getting things accomplished is part of what's needed to lower my stress level, too, so it's a matter of finding a balance, I guess.

I continue to be uplifted by all the loving comments. You all really are helping. Just a thought for you, if you need to send a sympathy card to someone. One of our friends included a neatly cut out copy of Daddy's Obituary notice in their card. It was very much appreciated.

Time I Tried to Catch Up

I've ended up doing the very thing I really didn't want to do, and that's not keep this blog as a daily journal. It's just that so much has been happening lately that I just had to put blogging way down on my priority list.

So.... here goes .........

Since I wrote last, Daddy has been much worse. There was a large bulge in his upper right colon area that no amount of enemas, suppositories, stool softeners, or laxatives seemed to be effecting at all. We are fortunate enough to live in the country, where doctors still treat their patients as individuals. So Friday, a week ago, Daddy's primary care physician came out to the house after work! After feeling around on the area, he really didn't think it was a bowel impaction, but there was no way for him to be sure. He suggested we put Daddy in the hospital for some tests. I spent the weekend deeply upset by that prospect, not knowing what was best for him. Dr. Mc understood that we had no intention of any type of surgery, if they did find anything other than fecal matter. On top of the rest of my misery over making this decision, he would be in the hospital I swore I would never take anyone to ever again.

I finally decided that I would be in worse shape emotionally if I didn't at least give it a try, so I was in the hospital with Daddy for several days this last week. We came home Thursday, after the tests they did showed conclusively that it was not fecal matter. We stopped them from running any more tests, so it was left as a diagnosis of a soft tissue mass. I don't need to know what it is ... only that I can give him pain medicine, because it won't be causing more constipation on a blocked bowel.

We also brought home new pressure sores, because it took lots of complaining to get them to change him and turn him. And, when they did handle him, most of them were not gentle with his skin. Did I say I hate that hospital??

One of the two really caring PCA's gave me four hospital gowns to take home, which is a big help at this point.

Yesterday evening, when DH and I started to turn Daddy to change his Depends, he threw up all over the place. Considering the amount of food and liquid Frances had gotten in him, everything must have been sitting in his stomach all day!! He was obviously in pain, so I called the Hospice nurse, who advised that I not try to give him his night medicines or move him for at least an hour. We cleaned him up the best we could and managed to get towels between his skin and the sheets, etc., that were soaked.

After an hour, we changed everything out to clean, but it was obvious we were really hurting him with every turn. After reporting in to the nurse, she said not to feed him or give him any medicine, but to call again if he didn't go to sleep comfortably on his own.

I called her back at 2:00AM, as things were worse again, and she told me to give him the morphine that absorbs through his mouth. She arrived about an hour later, as we are on the outside reach of this Hospice territory. He was running a temp, and his blood pressure was very high. We managed to get the blood pressure med in him that he had missed at supper time, plus a sublingual tablet for fever. I'm not sure what that was.

She then suggested I try to get some sleep, and she sat up with him for three hours, while I napped!! There's a lot about this hospice I don't like, but she moved them up a few notches in my estimation, in the wee hours of this morning!!!!!

Part of the reason I haven't been blogging is that my right arm and hand have been in considerable pain and swelling since we went to the hospital. Thinking it would be enough, I only took my cane. By the time I had walked all over the place as they took Daddy for tests, I had put too much pressure on my arm, and I paid the price for not remembering to swap to the left hand often. Thank goodness, I had thought to pack my hot pad. So I spent his hospital time doping myself up with as much pain medicine as I dared to, and still staying awake enough to be harassing them to do their job. I just couldn't manage the computer very well at all!! It looks like I'm going to have to learn how to use a mouse left handed ... I'm pitifully uncoordinated as a lefty ... far more so now with the PD.

I'm also fortunate that we had bought a really nice wheel walker with the seat in it some time ago at an Estate Sale. DH was very depressed when we bought it, but it was a blessing when my arm hurt so much.

I can't thank you all enough for your prayers and kind thoughts while all this was going on. I knew you were worried about my sudden disappearance, and appreciate the emails I received. Just know that you have been supporting me, even though you didn't know what was going on.

Things Have Settled Down Again

When I posted a couple of days ago, things were looking pretty grim with Daddy. But each time I've not been able to get him to eat much, I've been giving him his medicine with Boost to drink, instead of water. So, he's a little stronger now than he was.

Frances stayed with him yesterday, so we could go to Sunday School and church, and have a little free time to ourselves after lunch. Daddy didn't want to get out of the bed before I left, but Frances said she'd deal with whatever needed to be done. Thank goodness we have someone with him I can actually trust him with. We are very fortunate.

We were pleased to find, when we returned, that he was lucid and had been using the walker all day. DH had a deacon's meeting to go to, so I took care of supper and putting him to bed all by myself. I did take him to the bedroom in the wheelchair, because he had gone sound asleep in his chair already and he seemed woozy. But I didn't have a problem making the transfer, using the walker to make the change, instead of having him hold onto me.

This morning was not quite as normal as I would have hoped, but it wasn't too bad. The hallucinations have been mild today, and he's walked most of the day. I did use the wheelchair to take him to breakfast, as I had him by myself again. DH had to travel to a family funeral.

We get the hospital bed this afternoon, so that will make a lot of things easier for us. And Daddy surprised me about that. He protested when he realized we had ordered it, but I was able to get him to understand that we had followed his wishes on that as long as we could. He hasn't fussed about it since. That may change when he actually has to sleep in it, but I'll deal with that when and if it happens.

Through all of this, the Zelepar has been working just fine. It was definitely the strep throat that kept it from working before. I'm still on the antibiotic, and my throat's still sore sometimes, but I think the strep is gone finally.

So, all in all I'd say things have settled down again, but I know how quickly that can change. I'll just be thankful for now and let next take care of itself!!

Update on Daddy

We took Daddy to the Orthopedist Tuesday, with help from our paid care giver, Frances. That was money well spent, as he still is extremely difficult to transfer from the wheelchair to the car and back. Also, there was so much paperwork to fill out that they were ready to take him downstairs for X-rays before I was through with it all. Thank goodness Frances was there to take him, as DH had gone to the store while we were at the doctor's.

Daddy fell the day after Thanksgiving, but the severe pain and stiffness in his right arm didn't show up until Jan. 3. We figured it was due to using the walker and from putting so much pressure on his arms when he was getting up and down from chairs.

Well, that probably is the reason the pain started later, but it turns out that he has a small chip of the bone at his elbow! Thank goodness the Orthopedist did not put him in a sling. Instead, he's having us put one of those tennis elbow type braces below his elbow. It's supposed to take the pressure off the tendon that connects to the end of his elbow. I tried it the first day under his long sleeved shirt, but by evening his arm and hand were swollen, and it was all I could do the get to the brace from under his sleeve. I've been putting it on the outside of his shirt ever since, and it seems to work just as well. I didn't even have to adjust it last night, as his arm was not so swollen.

The brace seems to be helping, thank goodness. We go back to see Dr. J in a month to see how he's progressing.

So, the arm is better. I wish I could leave it at that. But that would be only half the story. The stress of trying to get him in and out of the car, plus all the strange goings on with the X-rays, a strange doctor, and a strange place, and his pain on top of all that, have left Daddy confused. He has said several things that made it clear that he no longer thinks he's at home. He's also been talking about those children who are making all the noise and running around. Maybe he's had another small stroke. Maybe his depression is worse. I don't know. I just know that he is altered.

We continue to take one step forward and two back, it seems.

Can I Keep Daddy in His Own Home Any Longer?

It looks like it's time to consider a Nursing Home for Daddy, something I never wanted, and he certainly won't want.

The last couple of weeks have been busy ones, as far as taking care of my Daddy is concerned. He woke up two weeks ago with his right arm in such pain and so stiff that he's been having to eat breakfast left handed. He can't even get the spoon to his mouth with his right hand. The Hospice nurse came and checked him out, but she couldn't find anything in particular going on. She did get a prescription for Ibuprofen, so I've been alternating every four hours with the Motrin and Extra Strength Tylenol. By lunch time his arm has been better, but it starts all over the next day, just as bad as the day before.

With his arm like that, he's having more difficulty getting out of his chair and the bed. Eating has been very frustrating for him, and he's having more trouble using the walker. I've been trying to help him get up and down, to give his arm a chance to heal, whatever has been wrong with it.

Day before yesterday, the nurse looked at it again and was concerned about a good bit of fluid build up around the elbow and upper arm. I knew his hand was swollen, but I hadn't realized the upper arm was larger, too. Anyway, she made an appointment for us to see his GP, Dr. M., in case it was a hairline fracture from the original fall, or something like that.

I didn't realize until yesterday just how much worse Daddy is than he was when he first fell. Trying to move him from the chair to the wheelchair, and then from the wheelchair to the car, was just about impossible. I wore myself out trying to do it. Luckily, Frances, our sitter, was there to help move him into the car, and she was panting by the time he was in. It's so much different than when we took care of Mama and Pop. They were both small people, not weighing more than 100 pounds, and they both cooperated. Daddy is about 160 pounds, and he's a dead weight. To make matters worse, he doesn't trust anybody, so he kept grabbing hold of the car door for dear life, and we had to peel his hands free to get him to hold onto us to maneuver him.

We asked for help at the doctor's office, getting him out and back in, so at least we didn't have to struggle with him there. But then, of course, we had to get him out of the car and back in the wheelchair on our own when we got home. He wasn't any easier to move then than he had been at first.

The whole ordeal was extremely upsetting. The worst part of it was that the doctor no longer has an X-ray machine, so it was more or less a wasted trip. We have to see an Orthopedist next week. That means going through all this again. I did mention to Dr. M. that I had a sore throat, so the nurse swabbed it, and I have strep. So now I'm on antibiotics. At least we accomplished that!

Yesterday's events have forced me to reconsider just how much longer we are going to be able to keep Daddy in his home. I can see that he's fast reaching a point where I won't be strong enough to take care of him. My DH and my Daddy have always had, shall we say, a cool relationship with each other. So DH gets frustrated with him, and Daddy stays mad at DH. My hubby is here for me, and doing a great amount of the work, but he's just not up to the cheek to cheek "dance" it takes to move someone who's not able (or willing) to help. And I've had a lot more practice at it, too. It is a skilled maneuver, but with Daddy, I'm just not strong enough to do it well.

So, I started thinking about Assisted Living homes vs Nursing Homes last night. I really don't think an Assisted Living place would take Daddy, but he's so mentally alert most of the time I hate the idea of a Nursing Home. I don't think I'm going to have a choice, though. We had visited just about every good Nursing Home in this area when we were caring for my mother and father-in-law, so I have a pretty good idea which ones to check for vacancies.

We have an appointment Tuesday with the Orthopedist, and his diagnosis of what's wrong with Daddy's arm will have a lot to do with where we go from there. If he puts Daddy's arm in a sling, we're in a mess. So, we'll get through the next few days as best we can, and go from there.

All this has been happening while I was supposed to be giving the Zelepar a fair trial. Considering how yucky my throat has been the last couple of weeks, and how much more work has been involved in taking care of Daddy, plus the extra stress of seeing him deteriorate, the Zelepar really hasn't gotten a fair trial. I'm not walking as well as I did with the Requip, but my stomach is definitely better. From recent reading I've done, I understand that this is the maximum dose of Zelepar, so that's not likely to improve, unless it's because of the increased stress, or because I had strep, and that effected my walking.

So at the moment, my thoughts are up in the air, with lots of questions, but no clear way to answer them right now.

Am I in Denial?

We had our usual Date Day yesterday, and had a good time, as usual. It was windy and cold, and I was bundled up. DH was in short sleeves, enjoying the brisk fall weather. We've always been at opposite ends of the hot natured, cold natured spectrum, and it looks like the PD is just going to make that worse :).

We found a few good buys, but at one of the estate sales we found one of those deluxe model walkers with the padded seat and all the extra pockets that really looked brand new. The daughter selling everything said her mother had only used it a few months, and that's exactly what it looked like. She didn't want much for it, as I've been pricing them, and I knew it was a good buy. So, even though I don't need it now, we bought it.

As we paid for it, she made some remark about how I was going to enjoy using it, and I replied that I couldn't really say I would enjoy using it, but I knew that I would eventually need it. My DH went on ahead to the car, so he could figure out how to pack it away, and when I caught up with him, he had tears in his eyes. I, on the other hand, was totally unaffected. When I asked him about why he thought it was bothering him so much more than it did me, he answered that maybe he loved me more than I loved myself.

That's a load to think about for sure! It did get me to thinking that maybe all my "busyness" reading about Parkinson's and writing this blog is somehow a way to block out my emotions about it. I don't know. All I do know is that for right now I'm honestly not upset by all this. It's certainly not because I haven't read about how horribly debilitating it can become, because I've read plenty of that. All I know is that I've laid it in God's hands, and I'm trusting Him to make the best of whatever happens. I do pray daily that my DH will find some peace about this whole situation.

Looking Forward to Doctor's Appt. Tomorrow!

I've been able to stay busy this last week, and the time has really flown by, thank goodness. I've had plenty of excercise, so the weakness in my legs is definitely not from lack of use from the extended illness I had with the colitis attack. And I'm off all the steroid capsules, too, which means I've only got two more pills to go and I'll be off all the colitis meds.

Tomorrow we find out the results of all the lab tests they ran on me this last week. We also find out if I have to have a repeat of the EMG tests, because the last doctor did not test any upper body areas. Since I do get trembly sometimes in my hands, I'm hoping he'll do the test again, even though it's certainly NOT a fun test. I've already told him I'd do it again in a heartbeat if he needs me to. He knows how uncomfortable the test is and is trying to spare me that, if possible, but I want whatever will give the most accurate diagnosis, discomfort or not.

I just hope tomorrow's appointment doesn't end up leaving me feeling disappointed that things are moving too slowly, the way last time's did. I really like this Neurologist, and I have full confidence in his abilities, so I'll just have to put my trust in God that he has led me to the right man.

I had my first experience with someone trying to help me when I didn't need their help tonight. I was getting ready to go down the steps at church, which means DH takes the walker and I hold on to the railing and carefully take one step at a time. One of the church ladies grabbed my free hand to help me, and she really was trying to insist on helping, even though I kept telling her I would be just fine. It surprised me that I found that very irritating. I must remember to ask if I can help someone, instead of assuming they need my help.

Wonderful Date Day Today!

DH and I had a wonderful time today traveling all over the backwoods, through some of the small mining towns north of Birmingham, going to several Estate Sales and a few Yard Sales, too. We got lost a few times, but we still had a lot of fun, and I think we made some good buys. We finally ended up getting lost in the general vicinity of one of our favorite Thrift Stores, so we decided to quit going around in circles and went to the store, instead. We had very good luck there, as we usually do. One item will cover a large part of our day's expenses, so the rest of our day's purchases will be all profit when they sell.

I really do need to find one of those adjustable canes with the prongs on the end. When you go to sales like this the houses tend to be crowded with stuff and people, and sometimes the walker is really in the way. I'm glad I have it, though, as I wouldn't be able to enjoy so much walking without it.

So far people have been very kind and helpful. I haven't yet hit anyone being rude, but at least I'm prepared for it, thanks to several posts and comments on Wheelie Catholic. Of course people in the South generally are more polite than other parts of the country, so I may not run into one of the rude jerks that others have discussed. I hope not, because I'm not sure how DH would handle it.

I Shopped at Wal-Mart Today!

I'm very pleased with myself today. I used my newfangled four-wheeled walker and was able to walk around for over 30 minutes without wearing totally out! I found a pair of shoes for Sunday that should give me more support than the ones I've been wearing, so I had to find a cart no one was using, in order to get back to checkout in the front of the store. I see why people put baskets on walkers now. Anyway, I put the walker in the cart and pushed it all up front. It's nowhere near as easy to walk holding onto a cart as it is to walk using the walker for support.

I used to do Tai Chi every morning before DH got up. I learned a short form that wasn't too fancy, but it was a good beginner workout. I've tried a couple of times, since my legs have been acting so weird, to see if I could still do any of the movements. It was pitiful. I couldn't even get started. So I tried again this morning. I still can't do it correctly, but if I slide my foot, instead of picking it up, I can go through a few of the first few positions. It's better than nothing, and I'll be trying it again in a few days.

Experimenting with the Walker

I decided, after wearing myself slap out using the walker the last few weeks, that I needed to try something a little different. So we've been looking for another walker at the thrift stores, thinking I might try putting wheels on all four legs. We found one yesterday, and I put the wheels on this morning. I've only tried it in the house today, but it feels wonderful. I think a lot of the tiredness was coming from the resistance I was getting from dragging the tennis ball covered back legs across the carpet or the cement.

DH brought home a Prevention magazine from the grocery store today that has an article about a set of leg exercises in it, using one of those balancing balls. We bought one at a yard sale a few weeks ago, thinking I might be able to do some therapy with it. I'm going to ask the Neurologist Monday if I can do any of these exercises, as they look reasonable to me. I'm also planning on asking him if he can tell if this PN is permanent or temporary. I know it may be too soon for him to know, but I need to at least ask. I've been this way almost a year now, so I think I've been pretty patient.

Heavy Metals Tests & Access Problems

Yesterday we turned in my 24 hour urine catch to the lab for the test for heavy metals. Since we live within a quarter of a mile of what the EPA called one of the worst toxic waste sites they ever had to clean up, we're very anxious to hear the results on that one. Obviously, there are several metals that could cause the PN, so this is a key test. I started to just let DH take the container back by himself, but it's a good thing I didn't. They had such a hard time drawing blood Thursday that one of the vials had clotted, so they had to draw more blood from me yesterday. That would have been terrible, to go to the doctor next week and not have all the tests completed.

I'm finding the oddest places that I'm having trouble navigating with the walker. The door to the bathroom at the hospital lab was so heavy that I couldn't get it open and get the walker through it, too. DH had to get up and hold the door for me. Then, when I got in the bathroom, there was no hold bar -- in a HOSPITAL bathroom! I couldn't believe it! We got the phone number of the maintenance department from the lab people. That was the only number they could give us, figuring they would know who we would need to contact to complain about the bathroom not being compliant.

We went to an old Wendy's for lunch, and it took 2 people to hold 2 sets of doors open at the same time to get the walker through the vestibule doors, the way they opened on each other. That's crazy!! Nobody in a wheelchair would be able to get in that place alone. They're going to get a call, too. We've been talking to managers for years about maneuverability issues we saw pertaining to wheelchairs, but we've obviously missed some in places we never took my mother. You just don't notice things like that until you are confronted with them yourself.

Another Sunday with the Walker

I wasn't nearly as tired after church today, and I know it's because I'm using the walker. The distance from the car to my Sunday School classroom, and then to the sanctuary and back to the car is a pretty tiring distance, and there's no doubt that the walker helps a lot.

Everybody's being really nice, but the walker is calling attention to me, which is what I was not wanting. It was the main reason I resisted using it to begin with. But, they mean well. About all I can tell them is that my doctor has ruled out brain tumor, and that's a good thing!! And, that I'm not in pain any longer ... that's a good thing, too!! I thank them for their prayers, only to be stopped by someone else a little farther along the sidewalk, and the whole conversation gets repeated, almost word for word.

Our younger DD is coming today for an overnight visit, at my request, and I'm so looking forward to that. She usually brings the grandkids, and I asked her, if she could, to come sometime by herself, so we could really visit. I hardly ever get to see her, and I really miss her. Neither one of us are big talkers, so I'm not sure what we'll do, but if we don't do anything but sit and hug, that's fine with me.

Friday Date Day Plus Walker - 1st Time

DH and I had a fairly normal Date Day today. The only thing that kept it from being completely normal was that nobody was having any Estate Sales today within a decent driving distance of our house.

I've worked out a pretty good system. I use the online version of our newspaper to find the Garage Sales section, and I search for the Friday sales and the Estate sales. With that tab of FireFox open, I go to our AAA membership and pull up the travel map tab. All I have to do is copy and paste the addresses of the sales into the AAA page, and their program will turn it into a trip map. Once I get a look at the map, I can tell how to rearrange the stops to make it the most efficient gas wise. With a printout of the directions and maps to go by, it takes all the stress out of finding the sales.

We try to pick a different part of town each week, and we know where the good thrift stores are, too, so we'll always find something we can sell for a profit, that will pay for our mileage and dinner out, at least. We've been doing this long enough that we pretty well know which parts of town are likely to have steep driveways, so we avoid those for now.

We've been selling vintage collectibles and plush animals and soft dolls on eBay and from our own website now for several years, and it's been a lot of fun. (In case you're curious about what we have available right now, you'll find our shop banners in the right hand column.) I haven't put any new items up for sale for several months now, as I've been so sick, but I'm hoping to get busy this next week.

I'm very glad to find that having trouble walking isn't going to spoil our Date Day fun. Using the walker worked quite well today. My biggest problem seems to be when I stop and stand still for awhile. If my leg condition turns out to be a permanent situation (I'm still being evaluated) then I'm definitely going to want one of those that has the built in seat. From what I can tell from looking on the Internet, I think I want push brakes, too. If any reader has any experience with different types of walkers, I'd appreciate your suggestions.

My DH fussed at me for apologizing to him for his having to get the walker in and out of the car so many times for the different yard sales. I can't help it, though. It makes me feel bad that I'm having to inconvenience him. I know he loves me and would do what ever I need for him to do, just as I would do for him. I know that. Yes, I do know that. Saying it just doesn't seem to help the way I feel, though....... Something else to get used to.

Another Busy Day

Our DD wanted me to go with her to her Neurologist's appointment today, so we packed up the walker, with its brand new tennis balls installed, and headed off to the big city. We met her at the doctor's and I went up with her. I chose not to take the walker, because I didn't want to be the center of attention. The doctor was extremely pleased with her progress, and she's dismissed her finally. Her peripheral neuropathy problems started in mid May of last year, so this has been quite an ordeal for her.

We parted ways after her appointment and we spent a pleasant time browsing through Barnes & Noble books. That's a treat that I haven't been able to do for over 4 months now. It was fun being able to move around freely with the walker. I did notice that I got tired very quickly if I stopped and stood still to look at a book for any length of time. My feet would burn and sting and get prickly. So we'd move along to another section and browse there for awhile. I thoroughly enjoyed myself!

We ate out at a buffet for lunch. I couldn't see how the walker would be of any help, juggling a plate, so we left it in the car. That was a mistake. I realize now that I should have taken it in, walked to the food bar and left it to the side. I could have filled my plate, then DH could have taken both plates back to the table, and I could have used the walker to go back to our table. I'll know better next time.

Tomorrow's our Date Day, and I'm looking forward to getting out again!!!

Glory to GOD!!

Yesterday was a particularly good day for me. I'm proud of myself for overcoming my inhibitions about using the walker. I found that the people at church were more understanding about my saying I wasn't worse, that it was just for safety and to make things easier for me, than I had expected.

The worship service and Sunday School blessed me more than usual, and I just felt particularly close to God. I keep a running dialogue with God going all day long, as a usual habit, but some days it seems more like a monologue, if you know what I mean. Yesterday was one of those special days when everything just seemed to ooze God's love for me, and I'll be remembering it as a landmark for a long time, I'm know.

Today, my legs are tired, as we did more at church yesterday than usual. Even with the walker, it was a lot of walking. If I had not used the walker, we would not have been able to participate in all the fellowship activities of the day. That would have been a shame.

It's strange that I should be writing this when one of Ruth's post at Wheelie Catholic today is about people with disabilities being included in church. She emphasizes that inclusion involves the disabled person actively being involved in church activities, something I had all but dropped out of, partly by medical necessity, and partly by convenience (read that just too easy to stay at home).

My DH has been really patient with me, as he's a Deacon and very rarely ever misses a service. He hasn't tried to push me into going when I wasn't ready to go, and I really appreciate that. But I know he'd much prefer that we go together, the way we always have. Now that I've had a taste of the sheer joy of group worship again, I'm going to try harder to not let laziness get in the way of going all the time, or at least most of the time.

NOT Stupid Walker

I swallowed my silly pride and used the walker at church this morning. After the first few people stopped me to ask if I was worse, and I assured them I wasn't, I got used to it, and it wasn't so bad after all. It really did make the long walk from the car to our Sunday School room soooo much easier. I can walk more naturally with it, too, which should help my muscles get back to a normal gait, I hope.

I realize now that I should have been using a walker for the last few months, but Dr. B is the only medical person who has told me I should have one, so I figured I wasn't bad off enough to need it. And he didn't just tell me, he fussed at me big time. Now I'm glad he did!!

Stupid Walker

Dr. B made me promise yesterday that I would get a walker, and I know he's right. I've just been putting it off as long as I could, hoping I'd get better on my own.

Well, I haven't, yet.

I know I've been silly about it, but I've been resistant to the idea to be seen in public, particularly at church, using a walker. It's stupid, I know, but it's like it's an admission that something's really wrong, if that makes sense.

Anyway, once I finally wrapped my head around the image of me using one, I remembered someone at church whose mother had used one before she died, and I'm borrowing that one. Somehow, borrowing one doesn't seem quite as bad as buying one. It seems more temporary.

It's been funny trying to learn how to use the scooters at the grocery store and at Wal-Mart. That doesn't seem to bother me, because I get up and walk to the car. And, besides, they're fun!! LOL

I think part of the reason I don't want to "give in" to the walker is that people will see me differently. Before I was just walking really slow, now they will think I'm worse, when I'm really not. It makes me feel really old, too, and I don't like that feeling, either. I may look old, but I don't feel old inside, doggonit!!